You laid aside Your majesty

You laid aside Your majesty
Gave up everything for me
Suffered at the hands of those You have created

You took all my guilt and shame
When You died and rose again
Now today You reign in heaven and earth exalted

I really want to worship You my Lord
You have won my heart and I am Yours
Forever and ever I will love You

You are the only one who died for me
Gave Your life to set me free
So I lift my voice to you in adoration

thank you God for everything. thank you God for the people you've placed in my life who have become so precious to me. thank you God for guarding my heart.

luke 18:27 "what is impossible with men is possible with God"

back down to earth

ok, the weekend's over and here i am, sitting in lecture. no, nowhere near heaven. which means Daddy doesn't want to take me now, and i just have to get through whatever shit i'm in. oh great, just great. no more procrastinating, no more wishing i can die before deadline! ugh.... just have to try my best.

i don't know what to think about you now. what are you trying to show me, what do you want now. what do i want now. what is happening now. what to do now. my my.... this time i'll just let it flow. no no no no no no no no i'm not mad! just cannot imagine anything good to come out of this. too cynical to think this is not just another fall. just another joke. just another prank, the favourite game guys play. thanks for pushing me away before i let go first. now it feels much easier.

divergence

maria left this morning.

never meant for it to be so tearful, but i was so afraid i'll miss the last hug i wanted to give her. she knows she's loved and she'll be missed. the grace her mum has shown to me when i was in a big mess at maria's place, i'll never forget. her granny said thank you to me, and it just broke my heart. she's still on the plane now... i pray for God to protect them and bless them.

when i looked back and think, i realised how life and take a turn so fast. me and maria. we were supposed to be in ac, i was supposed to move to bt gombak a few blks away from her, we were supposed to go to school together every morning, and study together every night. and then within 3 mths, things took a huge turn for both of us, and i believe for many others too. well, i;m really sad, but i know God does things for a reason, and i have faith in Him, that no matter what it'll be the best for us.

so wherever maria will be, i'll be happy to know that she's blessed.

i've been sick these few days, and my head hurts. i really appreciate what someone did for me, really really grateful, though i might insist you're a big bully and a meanie hahaha. oh and of course thanks to all the most adorable ppl in church! i think you all know who you are la. :D

i'm going to sleep for 12 hours.

GOD

everything that's happening,
keep making me think that heaven is definitely better than this Earth so full of rubbish.

GOD TAKE ME PLEASE.

i don't mind no hamcheeebang or tangyuans in heaven, i just want to go to You. i don't want to stay here anymore. what a torture, what a mess.

God our potter

this is interesting. i'm sitting through medsoc tutorial now, and ms thomas is going through the practice debate...

define SHAPE (verb)
to give form to/ to make

"like a potter making something out of clay with a masterplan in mind, an image in mind..."

and then i'm reminded of God.
He's the potter who made us,
created us in His image,
with a plan He has for us.

how wonderful. :)

how to give up

the most difficult thing, i've learnt,
is not to perservere.
is not to hold on to something you're not sure of.
is not to find the truth.
is not to try to see what's ahead,
is not to hear God.
is not to obey God.

the most difficult thing to do is to give up.

and so i'm nearing this crossroad. where i'll have to decide what to do, or stand there forever until someone comes and pull me along. i am dying underneath a pile of workload. and my heart is sinking like crazy. and i'm only bathing in the morning 1am, 2am, cos i only get home after midnight. and i can never sleep unless it's past 3. tell me, with this emotional physical mental burdens, how do i smile. maybe i asked for too much, so God gave me so much. serve me right. i ought to stop binging, cos i'm falling sick. my body is screaming no, and i feel like dying.

throughout the whole ordeal, it's when you've decided to give up, that you feel the most miserable .

tangyuans!!

I LOVE TANGYUANS.
i am so super elated i found the tangyuan stall in clementi. yongjin said he's never seen me so happy before, so can you imagine?! omg it's just simply heavenly. i feel so touched when i ate them ok! hahaha and the peanut soup! woooO! shiok ah! hahaha i am on the quest of discovering my favourite food. so that i can ask God for them in heaven. :D cheese prata at mr prata was nice too. and that's a pic with yongjin and jengting with his onions.
























been helping jamie with her fundraising. i hope she'll be able to go for the mission trip! God will provide, so no worries. we need to make somemore cookies, my dear! and then we can sell them in church this weekend :D haha making cookies is fun. anyone who wanna contribute to this good cause, just let me know yeah? :)
























i was amused with kavina's suspender. i really like it! :D and i promised her to help her promote her blog. thefratellis.blogspot.com GUYS, please take a look.
























and this is what happens when gracom lesson threatens to "turn my brain into goo" (quote from audrey) -- you have to distract yourself by doing sthg such as camwhoring in the restroom.

every week just seems to get busier.. like once the workload starts to grow, it'll never stop, and it'll never get lighter. but it's okay, i'm doing my best with strength from dear Daddy.. and even if i roll down the hill, He won't let me get hurt in a way that's irreversible. i believe it goes the same for everything else- He'll catch me if i fall.

finding my peace again

T103 is getting high!
camwhoring during locvid was sooooo fun hahaha and mr kwon was totally trying not to get pissed with us. i've learnt that when eunice screams, that's it -- eardrums bursts. i don't know why i'm so stupid. i didn't install my final cut express, and i'm only doing it now. at, let's see, the wee hours again. so i have to go back to the room on monday to capturing the video to do editting by fri :X

























i was soooooo glad joanna stayed for my cell meeting. there were only 5 of us but we tried our best for God. and to joanna: stay strong and find courage from the Lord. there's so many people he placed around you to help you in times of need, so don't give up anything! :)

all this while i've been too busy to really think about stuff. it's like pressure from every aspect of life just starts to press in, for better or for worse it doesn't matter, just that when things are so packed they start to get messy, my head spins. and i don't want to think. i just know that i need peace... i give up trying to find out what i really want or what i am sure of. i give it all up to God. i'll let Him direct my life. honestly, it's easier said than done. maybe i should stop worrying for the others and start to look at myself in the mirror.



























jamie is over at my place now, sleeping. i hope we can both wake up and get out of house in time to go to church for clare's baptism and our own baptism class. :)

mel's down.

ok it's near 1am and MEL's down so i cannot check what i'm supposed to have by 9am. i remember there's something i should've done, but haven't, and i cannot check now, so i reckon i should come and update my bloggie.

this week is hectic.
mon i was sick, so i missed the lectures. tuesday was yet another blur, another rushed-for-the-whole-day day. AND CRAZY OKAY we got 2 individual gracom assignments due in ard a month's time.... i think i'm alr as good as dead. wednesday was crazy. i just reached home at 12 plus after movie and dinner and all the fun with klallam! i love klallam :D though linna still gets my name wrong after all this time. hais.. hahaha. and in the morn we did our vending machine locvid assignment. whoa, tiring. i figured i'll never ever become a director. i hate that job. but for all the fun we had, i'll give thumbs up for yest's filming. but i think we have to film more today. troublesome! and lessons starting in another 8 hours' time. hais, very soon my entries will probably be: lesson's starting in an hour's time and i haven't slept. oh gosh i can totally imagine. not going for volleyball anymore today, i'll need to do research before fri otherwise i won't be able to get anything done on time! ugh!

i'm looking forward to this weekend though. i really love cell and church and the darlings i'll get to see in church! shanyu's going to help me with my gracom asses :D :D OH AND DID I MENTION? i'm going for baptism classes starting this sunday! ahahhahaaha busy busy busy.

spiderman3 was... not impressive. but spidey is still my favourite heeeeero.
how i wish spidey's uncle is with me. :(

busified.

He will lift me up.

i must thank God for all the things He has given me. now that i'm fasting for a month and taking five at the same time, He knows He has to keep me occupied. and guess what, i'm super busy now!! rushing for projects and schwork, joining church june camp as GL, going to go for baptism classes and the baptism itself, and soon i'll be serving. haha! my years will be so filled with Gifts from Daddy. at least, it's better than having nothing to do and feeling meaningless. i will do the work He has called me to do :) yay, ganbatte ganbatte!

and of course i thank Him for the people he placed in my life too. these people are taking up my time as well and i dun mind cos i love them all! and i want to give them my time, so that i won't be "wasting time" by just waiting. hehe this is a vibrant life you're reading about!

cos you know we'll make it thru

i am very happy, because of the simple fact that Daddy is almighty and He loves me so much. i called, He answered. i was totally amazed by the whole experience. and now i know what pastor vic meant when he said pray like an innocent child, and He'll give it to you. now i believe.

God meant it when He said wait. so i am going to do it for God, and you need not feel bad. cos it's not your will, it's God's. and i will not waste these 5 years. He won't bluff me. even if there won't be an outcome, i'd have learnt how to love.

"Though the fig tree does not bud
And there are no grapes on the vines,
Though the olive crop fails
And the fields produce no food,
Though there are no sheep in the pen
And no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The sovereign Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights."

overnight prayer

i love overnight prayer! i really love it. okay i know i said i'm going to fast from food, blogging and all distractions right? BUT i'm only fasting from one thing now hahaha, i still eat, i still blog :D God is really really amazing and simply awesome! all my praise goes out to Him. i had a lot of fun during OP, so unexpected, but i find myself closer to Him, coos and the wonderful people around me. i love all of you people; cellmates and fuellers! i realised also how God changed my life ever since i've come to know Him. it's like i'm leaving my old self behind, leaving my old life behind, leaving my old friends (who don't really care) behind.. i still have my old best friends la! but, God brought the most wonderful people into my life. and isn't this the whole idea of being reborn? :) how amazing.