Lord give me strength

"through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
if you find honey, eat just enough-
too much of it, and you will vomit.
seldom set foot in your neighbor's house-
too much of you, and he will hate you."

God's message is loud and clear.
and i will obey Him, because He knows best.
before i go into the period of fasting-
from food, blogging, and all distractions,
i will make this last post.
and i will try my hardest to follow Him.
my spirit has to be kept high,
i cannot fall.
in weakness,
i will draw strength from God.
and Lord will lead us through.
i will never walk away from you,
i'm just going to be invisible for a while,
present, but invisible.
so that we can both hear Him.
just remember i'm still waiting in the rain.

if all the raindrops are...

it's raining heavily out here, but i really don't mind. i just want to stay near, just in case at any point of time, you decide to open your door and let me in. i'll wait quietly and patiently because God wants me to. there's nothing you can say or do to chase me away so i can find another shelter because there's no other shelter, and you know i won't give in, so don't ever try again. because if i walk away, the rain will never stop. no questions, no doubts, i'll just wait and pray. take time to rearrange, take time to make decisions, and when you're ready, you know i'm at your doorstep. when that time comes, just unlock your door and God will stop the rain.

i know the rose

once again it's friday. the weather is insane- it rained and then it shined and then it rained... like my emotions. up and down and up and down.... non-stop. yes, non-stop. bitter sweet. like dark chocolates. sometimes i really don't get it, but i don't think i need to understand. many a time, it's not understanding it that helps, it's feeling it. i like dark chocolates. but this is too bitter sweet. yet i don't mind walking with you through the rain.





ok la ok la i'm feeling emo again la! but it's ok cos i bet all of you the next entry will be me saying i'm happy again! and none of you would be surprise.

never alone

i realised i've been blogging extremely frequently. well whatever i have things to blog! haha i'm sitting in the library now with amirul aini and waiyin and we're BORED. bored bored bored. i wanted to study my medsoc but i think i'll tak a nap after this lol. super tired; i woke up at 5.30 this morn and then i couldn't sleep D: and i have volleyball later! but i'm happy i have volleyball :D ahahah. i'm your energizer!

SO
God heard me. i bet He read my blog k! hahaha anyway i am really happy now after all! i love all you people who are here for me. Cheryl mama, especially you. after you talked to me and also the smses, i always feel lifted up. and i'm really glad you know what's happening through Him. things are good now. i don't ask for much, Lord. i am satisfied with what You're giving me now.

i was never alone.
i really thank God he sent me to you too :)

do i have confidence?

it was such a dumb thing to do, especially when i waited for nothing, but that was just one hour and it won't change anything. it just made my heart sink a little. just a little. but now i'm not waiting for just an hour. it may be a month or a few months, or maybe even a year? i don't know. i don't know if i have confidence in myself or in you. because this is so vague, so weakly-rooted. it has only been 4 days, and i'm already feeling so suppressed. and i keep thinking about this. i cannot think about anything else. God is in control, i know. so i pray everyday, that He take charge of my life, cos my mind and soul are tired. i feel pathetic relying on one single sms to make myself feel better everyday. i feel so alone in this.

i can't help falling in love

it's tuesday, my longest day. i rushed all the way up the hill at 10:05am for gracom and it ended 1 and a half hours earlier -.- felt so not worthed. i don't understand 90% of the things taught in gracom... i like illustrator alot cos it's so interesting but i don't know how to use it. D: i'm worried i'll fail my gracom. really don't wanna fail anything. went to SIM for lunch with class. and now i'm in the library. in a few mins time we'll have to go for liswanto's lesson.

luckily i have God with me, i don't feel anything lacking. but still, i miss you.

drama

i'm back in school after a dramatic weekend. thanks to God and everyone who prayed for me, and you, i'm feeling much better today, and not as messed up. i'm quite sure what i'm doing now and i'll just trust God and leave everything in His hands for He knows what's best for me :) all my classmates sitting around me are looking at this as i type but well, I DUN CARE HAHAHHA. all of you are such KPOs! lol... okok anyway i'm still a happy person! haha.. WHAT?! heng han just showed us this table he said we have to memorise D: D: oh no. hais... blehh whatever. God will stand by me :D taking things slow is better, and i know that's what He wants me to do cos He's been telling me that through so many people, so i'll obey. i love God most!

love

love comes from God. and it's the greatest love ever. and isn't that enough? why are we all still searching then? but God wants us to love each other, and every emotion we can feel is given by God. and then i'm now standing at this point, i don't know what to do. we all don't know what to do. God will heal, but firstly, can we withstand his test? i've only slept for 3 hours. i am tired, i cannot sleep in peace. i don't know what i'm trying to say. i'm no longer confused, thank God. but i'm feeling rotten. it is the guilt? i'm afraid to move. i'm scared. i don't want to build happiness on someone else's sorrow. God, what do you want me to do now? we're all your children. help us.

volleyball

it's midnight so it's friday and friday's good cos i love fridays. hahaha! my lessons on fridays are 3-6pm sooooo short :D and then i'll go for cell. yay. i reached home at eleven plus earlier on cos i went to eat macdonald's after volleyball. macdonald's shld come up with better toys la. their pollypocket toy is so lame i thought the box thingy is a coffin or sthg. cos when u put the girl in the box, it really seemed to me like a coffin :X and then bala thinks i'm stupid now. bala is this guy from sports camp and also happen to be ben's friend. lol anyway volleyball training was great! quite lag but great. i had fun, at least :D and i'm tired now.

God works in amazing ways. :D THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD for everything. everything single thing that happened (yes including being late this morn), and every single person God puts into my life. i prayed, He answered. and His love never fails!
<3

5 hours

i'm in the school library with jamie and jengting and we're bored D: it's 5 hours of waiting till 6 and then i can go for volleyball. i was late for my first medsoc tutorial! ugh the jam this morning was really bad. a bus trip of 3omins took me 1 and a half hours this morning. and that was why i was late :X but well it's okay ms thomas will understand, hopefully. ok, so i guess right now i'll just do abit of revision or whatever la. it's bad to waste time! haha..

IT noob

i'm in school now and my lessons just ended. but i'm staying till 8 cos i have jap. gracom and webgra are both interesting BUT because i'm such a noob at illustrator and photoshop i dun understand what the lecturers teach half the time. so i'm going to ask some pros. i find school pretty amusing. the lecturers end class super early and we have more free time. and there's wireless NPnet all around school BUT i can never sign into msn because.. i dunno why.

oh well i have an assignment to do! medisoc. i love ms thomas. she's very interesting and i really enjoyed her lecture. i love using mac tofu to take notes too :D i can even record. yeah all these interesting during lectures/tutorials.



i love God and i'm going to trust Him to do His works.

in LT 79

yo i'm bored! i'm in lecture and i'm bored! today is the first day of school and i'm so excited. i'm waiting for 12 so i can go for lunch with the fuellers. yesterday we went to sentosa for outing and i praise the lord! cos according to my mac tofu it was s'posed to rain but yest was soooo sunny we all got super burnt. my shoulders hurt like mad. and i cannot sign into msn in LTs D: hais. hahahha me and volleyball ben have secret code LOL. hmm what else.. oh ya cos we have like many many bens around, the sarawak prince is called goddess psycho ben. he gave himself that name. lol. i'm bored but i have to listen to my funny dude lecturer. byebye!

lychee martini

isaac flew back to australia yesterday night. we went to the airport to see him off.. it was quite sad but we all know he'll be back this december. after he left we hanged around at the airport for a while. we did a hundred stupid things! hahaha freaking funny okay. we all walked backwards, watched planes at viewing gallery, played dare or dare, and took many many photos at the airport. :D i love! then at 9 plus we left the place, some of them went home, the rest of us went to clarke quay. we went to this pub with a lot of hooves hahaha. then each of us got a drink. my lychee martini rocked, though jon chua said it's like those lychee syrup you buy from ntuc -.-












































thank you fuellers! for being such lovely people :D i thank God for bringing all of u into my life.

macbook training

oh well.
i went for the wrong macbook training. i went for the macbook one instead of the macbook pro one. but heck. i guess it's all the same anyway... well i hope it is! :X anyway i love today! i made new friends :D and they're cool. hahaha like whatever, everyone in mass comm is lovable. :D :D <-- that's sam grace jasline and me!

oh there are some people whom other people gossip about, but i seriously think she's okay, and i don't wish to judge her like how others do. and anyway, honestly, she just looks pretty cute, that's why. i got to know a few of my new classmates and paul twohill is not in my class. lol anyway i'm getting excited and i want school to start! yes it'll be starting on monday yay.

life is happening right now! sweeeeeeet.

fms camp

fms camp was okay. not as fun as sports camp and honestly i cannot rmb anything much other than the fashion show and final clash and the performance items. i guess the only fun factor is the people. :D yeah, fms ppl are the best. but it's true that mass comm ppl are the most hated in school ): i hope nobody would hate me in future. okay sheesh what a weird thing to say. ahhahaa.. nvm man i have God who loves :D

when the feeling of dread creeps in and nibble up all the goodness in your heart, in your mind, there's nothing else left for a moment, before you snap out of it. sometimes i'll feel like that. and i'll always be glad God is with me. God is with me.

fuel nvr runs out!

some photos taken during fuel camp! stolen from kenny's blog hehehe..

























the fuellers!

























the camp comm


























team BAGUA


























team COOL! yeah we rrrrock.


























team COOL all set, ready to charge.


























yeah that's wet diapers on our heads. noone's spared.


























that's our baby rolling.


























it was such an easy task for Isaac :D


























we want war!


























up the butterhill we went.


























TOMB RAIDER (jon chua version)


























why are we waiting?


























the funniest guys alive.



























blur faces in the morning.


























shanyu's all hyped up at night.


























hide and seek. this is where kenny's flashlight blinded me. lol.


























say kimchi.


























and everyone's happy. what's wrong with erastus?!


























:D pretty faces in the morning.


























end of show, beginning of revelation.

not well at all

i'm still sick.
sick sick sick sick sick..

Father in Heaven, i pray that you place your hand on me now and heal me. get rid of all the bad stuff in my body that's making me cough and my nose run and my bile work up. Lord i thank you for being here with me, and sending angels to look after me and to show me care. thank you Lord for making me feel much better than before. i know you've been faithful and you're a prayers-answering God, so i pray that you continue to do your work in me, and continue to bless me under your protection. in Jesus' name i pray, amen. :D

He is my number one! <3

sports camp

sports camp was really fun! it's so very tiring though. and the sun scorched all of us and the rain drenched us. tough physical challenges and weird weather condition were what we faced, but still, the fun was all worthwhile. i love my KLALLUM. hahaha my tribe. oohgashagaoosh... interesting people in my grp. and i was so happy we won the flag race. campfire rocked. i have freaking cute GLs. they're sooooooooo funny and special.

i'm burnt and my face is peeling, my lips are painfully cracking. yesterday after breaking camo and dinner i went home and felt sick. woke up in the middle of the night to puke. the doc told me it's gastric flu D: i've nvr gotten gastric flu before. it feels terrible. and it makes you throw up eewww.. so i missed fuel outing today D: maybe i'm not s'posed to go out. when i was in the clinic, painfully waiting to see the doc, i prayed so hard and Jesus did come to me. the clinic was playing a chinese cd. and when i listened carefully, the songs are chinese christian songs. i felt so much peace as i thanked Jesus for that. i love my saviour :D