angst

i cannot stand it. but i cannot let it out, i cannot let it go.

it's nothing compared to the pain Jesus went through. still, i don't think it's fair.

walk alone

i didn't go to east coast park today like i planned to.
too tired. there are just some things people who think they know everything won't understand. they talk big they have noble aspirations they know how to deal with their problems and they can offer every possible solution to mine. but they don't understand i don't want solutions. i want someone who will walk with me through it.

that's all i want.

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again

secrets

Only He can see inside my heart, and understand the deepest emotions hidden beneath. The core of my heart. All i really want to do now, is to find myself. All this while, i've been too busy looking for someone, and now God made me realise through many ways that maybe i am more important to me. That maybe i want to find me. And i do, but where do i start... i don't even know where i am.

or who i am.

Daddy put rainbow in the cloud. The sky earlier on in the evening was beautiful, it was simply amazing, and the best thing i've seen - ever. i love you God.

Someone or something has romanced us from the beginning with creek-side singers and pastel sunsets, with the austere majesty of snowcapped mountains and the poignant flames of autumn colors telling us of something—or someone—leaving, with a promise to return. These things can, in an unguarded moment, bring us to our knees with longing for this something or someone who is lost; someone or something only our heart recognizes.

when the bees sting when the dogs bite when i'm feeling sad..... i might not be able to hear God, but He captivates me with the best. thank you. and shanyuuuuuu, you're appreciated, thank you brother. :)

office life is not much of life.

this was me when i first reached the office this morning. i was smiling. i thought: hmm, what are they going to give me today? there's no more cold-calling... (cos alvin told me the ones we RUSHED on friday are the last batch!)
















then, i got even more. this time, 15 pages. what you see above is one page. yeah, you can imagine my dumbfounded face and alvin's black face. anyway, we decided since this is never-ending, might as well do slowly and not be so stupid as last week. anyway alvin left at 12 plus for something, and i survived well on my own. my colleagues are quite cute la :D haha. and whoa whoa i witnessed office politics today.... sigh, real life.















^my face at 5 pm. i only finished 8 pages, meaning i called (8 times 36) companies, meaning i said the same thing 288 times, sometimes longer sometimes shorter, but i always have to say "hi, i'm calling from pacific internet." and once i almost said "hi, welcome to pacific ocean." i am not kidding you. telemarketing does weird things to my mind... i had to sms cerise to get thru the morning. i went to the washroom 5 times in the noon, and went to the pantry thrice. i am starting to get restless!

GOD BLESS ME.