milujn te

last post

2008-01-01T03:10:00.000+08:00

HEY

2007 is go-going-gone.
just like this the year i learnt and grew the most (so far) is gone.

2008 is gonna be better, more focused more love more purposeful more passion more excitement.

so, i have shifted!

TO HERE.

byebye milujn te.

fuel up

2007-12-30T00:11:00.000+08:00

It was awesome, like i said before that it's gonna be awesome. I am really touched by God and what He has done for all of us at the camp. It's so amazing how God works. We were faithless people when we did not think that the estimated 90 people would sign up. I estimated 70, the final time Howai counted was 70, but somehow... there's 90 campers. Then there were just so many coincidences that I can't even start with one to talk about! NOT COINCIDENCES. it's God. God changed me through Fuel, now He changed me again through Fuel Up. Oh God... i am just so overwhelmed.

And did i mention worship at the last youth service of the year????!!!! WOW.
That, is true worship.

of course coming back from a 3 days 2 nights camp, recharged spiritually, convicted, passionate,..... you would think that i would have a longer blog entry. but what else can i say; it's all in my heart.

It's different. Everything starts to shift with the changing perspective.

wow.
wow
wow
Wow
wow
wow
WOW!

God is so good, so faithful, and i really love You.

Now i should be sleeping. all those pimples and blackheads and dark circles grr.. but God knows what's really on my mind now is worship, and i'm really excite how things will change..

EXCITE!

change

2007-12-25T10:00:00.000+08:00

God knocks some sense into my head 10 am in the morn and i feel like i have to note these down.

i have to stop being such a

-procrastinator
-lazy person
-unfocused+unpurposeful teenager
-unhealthy girl
-bimbo
-fatigue-plagued-in-the-morning-can't-wake-up student
-timewaster
-irritable daughter

i have to get rid of

-my school work
-my room
-my messy boy stuff that's mostly in my head not heart and not even existing now
-my cell-hopping habits
-my dad. yes, my dad.

all these have solutions. i know nothing is impossible with God. SO, i am going to write my new year resolutions soon enough for the coming new year. now i'm just going back to sleep.

Merry Christmas.

i'm extremely excited

2007-12-23T21:47:00.001+08:00

oh gosh i can't tell you how high i am now. there's so much things to do on these last few days of camp and my mind is all over the place hahaha. wow i really hope the camp will turn out better than great. Nothing is impossible with GOD aye?

YES, I LOVE FUEL UP ALREADY.

good triumps bad

2007-12-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

Good things happen you know? I'm counting the blessings - it's much better.

Cell chalet was high. I think we just laughed all the way until breakfast time when the fatigue kicks in. LOL. We should have more of these, it's real fun, so much fun. :D

Then i went for my sec2 class' gathering at my friend's place right after we checked out. so guess what; i slept for 2 hours, woke up when more people came, we played cards and watched hairspray, i dozed off in between, woke up, ordered dinner, i went to sleep, woke up and ate dinner, went home. wow cool. i know, well done sinee.

Camp comm tried out the games today.
Fuel Up is so gonna rock your socks. SIGN UP NOW.
27th-29th Dec, $40, Salvation Army Camp site, sign up closing date 23rd Dec.
Interested? email me at pehsinee@hotmail.com

NOW. seriously.

junkie; i was trying to die i guess

2007-12-17T19:12:00.000+08:00

yeah, i was definitely trying to kill myself by eating 100000000 calories worth or junk food from yesterday to today. i am not kidding. we ate like 3 tubs of ben and jerry's, 3 humongous packs of chips, and lots of biscuits, then there are left overs. so i ate chips and chips for breakfast and lunch today. AH!

i wanna detox. i am going to keep away from the junk at chalet tmr. and i will drink water as if i am permanently dehydrated. bleah, junkfood is so gross, but i couldn't stop eating them. my throat hurts and my tongue too! D:

take courage

2007-12-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

woah today i went on stage and gave a testimony woah!
hahaha i was so nervous and happy at the same time. butterflies were flying all over in my stomach. my heart was beating extremeeeeely fast. wow. i love being on stage. :D my speechcomm skills come to use! i'm glad i took mass comm woah.

when i saw davin and derrick sitting at the front i was soooo glad, cos i couldn't see all the people at the back (i.e. my cell, np cell, ferdi's cell, people i know), and i felt a little scared. so i was glad at least i can see davin derrick, and howai. and pastor charissa was standing with me, thank God. at some point she said amen to sthg i said, and i was so encouraged. thank you COOS youth! i stammered quite a few times though, i tried the act-like-i'm-not-nervous stunt, and i failed terribly hahahaha. but at the end i was fine, i can feel it, can my hands stopped shaking. :D i am happy to be doing this for God, anyway.

talked to cerise over dinner. i love you babe!
Psalm 31:24
"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord."

desperation

2007-12-12T00:14:00.000+08:00

honestly,

except for one person i continuously rant to, nobody knows what the hell i am talking about or what kind of bloody mess this is.

no, it's not about deadlines

no, it's not about being tired of life

no, it's not about fasting getting tough

no, it's not about falling away from my dear God

no it's not about family

no it's not about pressure of any sort

no, it's not about anything anyone thinks it is.

it's about something i don't know how to, and i don't want to, put in words.
it's about something nobody can help or say anything that can make me feel better.

i am desperate.

but no matter what, no one can understand except for the one person who knows what the hell i am talking about!

so thank you but it's okay, don't try anymore.

i plunged in again...

2007-12-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

thank God i finished the writcom exercise already
thank God i have no sch tmr
thank God i have free time to be down
thank God i can be alone tmr
thank God for being here with me

because my mind is in a total blank now, and my heart feels like it's going to turn to dust. my body feels empty my head feels heavy and my eyes feel filled to the brim with liquid. because without God i think i am already dead.

the rain is not going to stop anytime soon.
i'm freezing.

i want to throw up.

isaiah 40:31

2007-12-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

i try my best.

why did God curse Eve.

2007-12-04T10:09:00.001+08:00

Why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache, an emptiness that nothing would be able to fill? Wasn’t her life going to be hard enough out there in the world, banished from the Garden that was her true home, her only home, never able to return? It seems unkind. Cruel, even.

He did it to save her. For as we all know personally, something in Eve’s heart shifted at the fall. Something sent its roots down deep into her soul – and ours – that mistrust of God’s heart, that resolution to find life on our own terms. So God has to thwart her. In love, he has to block her attempts until, wounded and aching; she turns to him and him alone for her rescue.

Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them.
Hosea 2:6-7

Jesus has to thwart us too – thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, thwart the ways we are seeking to fill the ache within us. Otherwise, we would never fully turn to him for our rescue. Oh, we might turn to him for our “salvation,” for a ticket to heaven when we die. We might turn to him even in the form of Christian service, regular church attendance, a moral life. But inside, our heart remains broken and captive and far from the One who can help us.

And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman’s life hemming her in. Wherever it is we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our “way of life” which is not life at all.

(Captivating (, 96-97)

suddenly busy

2007-11-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

so, i am really pissed off today. i don't know, it's just been so irritating with some people, like a certain fsv teacher zzzzzzzzzzz. he made me scold bad word. anyway i feel so busy suddenly! like the to do list has just gotten 5 times longer. My goodness... oh well, i guess it's because of the end-of-year phenomenon. People get BUSY. Oh but i'm kind of glad i have things to do... hahaha, i like the purposefulness :D i have things like shopping, going to chalet, etc, on the list, ON TOP OF deadlines to meet. WAH SO BUSY!

haha, and i went to cut my hair today. damn it, it's so retarded to go to JB just to cut hair. it jammed this afternoon and pissed my mum off so we're never ever going to JB just to cut hair ever again, never ever again, never! but, the hair cut is good, really.

Ask, and you shall receive.

2007-11-27T10:07:00.000+08:00

Dear heavenly Father, I thank you for all the things you've provided me with, and i know you're giving the best for my needs. Lord i pray that you'll send an iPod touch my way, because you've created such a wonderful thing and I LOVE IT. Yes, i love it. Daddy, please grant my wish, if it's in your will. You're awesome and almighty and it says in your Word that nothing is impossible. So God i'm very sure you will provide. I pray for the iPod touch to be in my hands sooooon. Thank you Lord. Amen.

my dear classmates

2007-11-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

Speechcom lesson today was awesome. Tears, true feelings, revealed. And i guess i looked like the happiest thing on earth, not that i would rather keep things to myself or that i don't trust you all, just that it'll probably help more if i can stay being the happy icon that i've been. maybe i don't understand fully your stories, but i know why the tears.

My dear classmates, i admire the courage of those of you who bared your souls, and let it out. I really do. Sometimes there are things that hurt, and nothing can ever take that pain away, but it's that pain that shapes us, who we are and who we will become. Life slaps us silly. We hate it. We fight our battles thinking wth are we doing. We hate it. People around us say things that hurt. We hate it. We try too hard to prove a point. We hate it. Sick and tired, torn and battered.

Where is the turning point?

online shopping

2007-11-21T16:09:00.000+08:00

okay, mood today: happy. the saucy ad presentation for issues is quite well done :) it's much better than the political gangster one, and i'm happy with myself. and of cos, with the rest of the group too. there's still quite some sch work to do, so i'm gonna stop playing fm or a while.... or maybe not. yes, i play FOOTBALL MANAGER, and yes, i think i'm still a girl. what am i talking about?

anyway, my threadless tees arrived!! yayyyyyyyyyy. i kinda regret ordering L cos it's a little baggy for me. but i love them still, and i can live with baggy shirts. :D

online shopping is so addictive, yeah, i know you've heard this for the umpteenth time. i just ordered david and goliath shirts last night. maybe i should stop buying shirts and start looking ard for bags and shoes.

I WANT TO COLLECT DUMB BLONDES! no, not like paris hilt*n or jess*ca simpson. i mean david and goliath shirts, they have this dumb blonde series, it's really cute and funny! there's like 23 of them. if i wanna collect, it'll cos me
USD18 x 23 = USD 414 = SGD 616.86 + shipping + misc charges = ard SGD 630
don't have that kind of money. D:

damn

2007-11-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

i am screwing up every single thing i try to do.

the freaking grammar test had some weird thing happening, the answer boxes were like screwed up so i couldn't type any answers in them. i tried to reattempt and realised i can't. F*&K.

i am thinking maybe i should just forget about the damn radio assignment as well.
and i really feel like cutting class again tmr. i need a 2-years-holidays or sthg.

damn it. i should just burn my house down. oh shit, i live in a HDB FLAT so i'll end up buring the flat down. maybe i should evacuate the others first before i do anything. you think?

yes you think i'm stupid.

okay i have to do f*&king cue sheet and production whatever, i don't even know what's the difference btwn them.. i'll never become a dj.

hide, or run?

2007-11-13T22:36:00.000+08:00

shit happens.

thank you though,
marcus
ferdinand
isaac
tim
aini

thank you for asking, listening, trying.
arigatou.

i can be stubborn i'm sorry. and, i don't need some psychological shit though i think i am going crazy. what the heck.

ikuta toma!

2007-11-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

HANA KIMI. japanese version is the best really.

YES i think i am madly in love with ikuta toma. "homo ja nai!"
adorable. nakatsu is the best role in hana kimi :D because toma played it well. fabulousa!

all night prayer

2007-11-08T14:41:00.001+08:00

i brought along my pillow, and went through the longest worship ever. learnt how to soak in God's presence and just let him touch me.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
-Zeph 3:17

i did not fall asleep. :)

why do we even question.

2007-11-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

today there was a little debate about religions. eugene was doing doing the issues stuff, and we were searching for muslim laws and all. then questions about the quran and the bible were raised. of cos, i wasn't sure how to handle some questions thrown at me, and as a daughter of God, i didn't want to dishonour my Father. and i will never condemn the other religions as well. i guess the part from Epic below, is a little answer to our hearts' questions. The rest will have to filled by God daddy himself.

Will Everyone I Love Be There?
11/06/2007

The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come. Then he sent some more servants and said, “Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner . . . Come to the wedding banquet.” But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business. (Matthew 22:2–5)

Now for a sobering truth, more sobering than any other we have considered.

To be honest, we must understand that not everyone lives happily ever after, not in any tale. This promise of the happy ending—or the new beginning—is only for the friends of God. Many people do not want the life that God offers them.

Remember—he gave us free will.

He gave us a choice.

We seem to forget—perhaps more truthfully, we refuse to remember—that we are the ones who betrayed him, not vice versa. We are the ones who listened to the lies of the Evil One in the Garden; we chose to mistrust the heart of God. In breaking the one command he gave us, we set in motion a life of breaking his commands. (You have loved God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? You have loved your neighbor as yourself?)

The final act of self-centeredness is seen in those who refuse to come to the wedding banquet of God (Matthew 22:2–3). They do not want God. They reject his offer of forgiveness and reconciliation through Jesus. What is he to do? The universe has only two options. If they insist, God will grant to them what they have wanted—to be left to themselves.

To be rescued from an eternity apart from God—this is why the rescued ones fall before him at the Great Feast in songs of gratitude and worship. Yes, we will worship God. It won’t be like a church service, but we will worship him. We will adore him.

But that day has not yet come.

Until then, the invitation of life stands.

I have set before you life and death . . . Now choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

(Epic, 88 - 92)

the game plan = update

2007-11-05T23:54:00.001+08:00

okay first of all, the game plan is a great movie which made me cry buckets. secondly, i have loads to update but i am too busy now, and i have work to rush, yet again. third, guess i'll update in a few days' time. for now, go watch THE GAME PLAN. haha :D

dream

2007-10-31T11:20:00.000+08:00

I had a really weird dream last night, i wouldn't call it a nightmare though it's really scary.
cos i dreamt that i died and i went to heaven. and i seriously thought everything was real... Some more i asked the others in heaven if it's real, and they assured me that i really got shot in my head by someone (yeah it's all the things that happened before i die that's scary) and went to heaven, it's not a dream. so i was really happy! like, COOL I AM IN HEAVEN no need to do my radio report. and i went around looking for people i know. i saw some, and it's like there's many many many rooms in heaven. each room has different things going on. some of them were learning how to play electric guitars, and i joined them, but then the guitars in heaven seem a little different so i gave up trying. and some people were doing experiments ....?!? hahahha, but it's so peaceful and joyous everywhere.

then i woke up.
where am i?
shit i'm still at home, in my own bed, i didn't die, much less went to heaven.

ya, i'm going to do my radio report now.

cookies business

2007-10-30T18:13:00.000+08:00

CHECK THIS OUT

really tasty ;)

anyway, school was fine today. it's slack, it's boring, but i still like it :D tmr will be gymming plus movie. hahaha, so lame! actually i have a lot of time i waste. but well, i have lots of purposeful things to do as well! like.... my assignments.

coming week

2007-10-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

okey dokey, today is sunday, tmr is schoolday! :D i feel lazy to go to school, but i guess i'm still happy, at least it's better than rotting at home or going to work hahaha. have quite some schwork to do, speech, journals, radio report. THINK RADIO :) did the 1 min capsule on akon - what boring subject.

weekend was fine, church and time with God and the siao people in COOS. jamie suddenly went missing :(
anyway, i got my pay (yes, finally!) and i went shopping alone on sat cos i had the time between meeting liane and church service. ended up spending ard 200 at topshop, sheesh. then, i forgot to tithe for this month. OH MY GOODNESS. haha, nvm, i'll just tithe together for Nov.

i love my dried roses.

can't believe 2007 is coming to an end so soon. seems really really fast, a year after another. such difference, such nostalgia, yet at the same time looking forward. looking forward to His plan revealing..

caged

2007-10-23T22:44:00.000+08:00

Locked up. most of us feel caged in some way or another, and the meaning of the word freedom has changed over time. it's no longer freedom, it's limited freedom. you can't have everything you want, or do anything you like, just because there's no way, like no matter how many Heroes episodes we watch, we don't possess that kind of supernatural abilities. how i wish i can fly.

"What is impossible with man, is possible with God." Man, is man. We live by society's rules, and obeys God, we are expected to. I'm not complaining, just thinking... That maybe it's because we couldn't meet expectations, and hence our expectations are not met, and in disappointment we crushed them and never look back.

Why is life like this? All i want is freedom. i wanna break away.
but i've been at the same spot since forever, and my roots have grown deep. even if i uproot, i am still caged.

no matter where you run, you're running into a bigger cage.

Think About it, Think, Think About it

2007-10-17T16:53:00.001+08:00

Watched this during IS class today and it's super funny! they're a band from new zealand and i think they're really cute :D

postsecret

2007-10-15T10:33:00.000+08:00

this is from postsecret.blogspot.com
speaks for so many people, including me.

don't be mistaken, this is not from postsecret, haha!
guess who drew this :D

of course it's me! haha... first day of school is refreshing :) true, 2 weeks later i'll be complaining, but for now, i'm glad to be back in school. T103 is no more T103, we're T108 now... back to campus, bubbletea, slacking in the library, dozing off in lectures, :D being happy!

my lecturer is bald, and i cannot remember his name.

sucker

2007-10-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......................!>!!!!!!&*^^&%^&@^$%$%^@!!T&*OPUQW

ANGST.
i'm sorry. to God daddy. to myself. to everyone who cares. God, i am surrendering. You know i am, my dear God. but why... i am trying my best and i'm doing it. why is this test getting tougher. why must it be now i realised how stupid i really am. i hate . i hate . i hate . i hate .

liar.
it's not that i cannot let go, i can, that's why i'm surrendering already. but i don't feel sad now. no, not sadness. it's ANGST. ANGST! why. i feel so cheated. hello? i am not a doll, i am not a bloody puppet, what you said to me cannot be unsaid. i don't care you pretended nothing happened, i don't care anymore. but just as i thought we can be friends again, i realised how big is this lie. i hate you. I HATE YOU.

let me tell you this. give me back my damn volleyball and we don't ever have to meet again. even if we bumped into each other, you'll be invisible to me, and i will be invisible to you. until you realise what a bastard you are.

you're worse than any other guy in the past. cos YOU pretended.

born again

2007-10-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

My heart is dancing with joy now.

i am no longer my old self. the whole baptism was... amazing. and this is the first day of my wonderful life, that i live for Jesus.

THANK YOU!!! i love COOS youth, and all of you who congratulated me, gave my flowers, gifts, balloons, handshakes, hugs, smiles, screams of joy. hahaha flo almost suffocated me. jengting bong my head with the balloon :D LOL. yongjin gave me so many things i wonder which is the baptism present ahhaha. shook a zillion hands, said a zillion thanks. Mum was happy for me. and God says let the deflating balloon signify the end of all that you couldn't let go. and i must say, i feel so light now.

i'm baby laurel.
Laurel, crown of victory.

love-hate

2007-09-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

many a times the heart plays tug-o-war with itself, entangling itself in love-hate affairs. irony irony irony. i wonder was it the same for Jesus. the pain he went through, certainly brought along agony. had there been a moment that He hated us cos we hurt him when he loved us so much? what does it mean to forgive and what does it mean to accept and what does it mean to love?

okay that was my emo being. anyway, on a happier note, say happy!, hahha we celebrated shanyu's birthday yesterday. GAVE HIM AN UMBRELLA.

hahah, and we made him do the rihanna dance with it, hilarious. he was reluctant la, but haha who ask for it to be his birthday. went to esplanade after dinner, lots of artsy fartsy stuff k! i like. :D and i went to haji lane yest with peilin before church. nice nice place. then i kept asking shanyu again and again for the name cos i keeeeep forgetting HAJI LANE. hahahaha. anyway yest was wonderful.

search for God.

2007-09-27T22:57:00.001+08:00

time for update :D

last weekend i went to cameron highlands for a breather away from this busy city, all that buzz. no msn, no sms, no work, no friends. maybe just noisy grandparents hahaha - i went with family. apart from strawberries, tea plants, flowers, strawberry products everywhere, i've seen the wonders God created. took plenty of pictures and here's just a few.

The Waterfall we passed by on our way up the mountain. the route winds in and out, turns left and right nonstop for like 2 hours from hill bottom to top so we had to rest. btw, on the way down when we went home, i almost puked, felt super giddy, and we din rest :/

The mountains. and hills. and people who live amidst.

Flowery hill. they have flowers growing everywhere.

strawberries! and the pale pink&green ones are the babies, and there's even strawberry flowers.

They grow orchids. LOTS of orchids.

Bird of paradise. Can see that it's crying?

they have all sorts of flowers there, and this is only one of the many kinds i have never seen before.

I guess this is lavenders? i don't know.. but they're purple, and they grow in long sticks.

sky of the late noon, just before the sun sets.

sky of the sunset

Awesome? haha, that's cos i have good camera skills. ya i'm just kidding hahahha. they're the Lord's beautiful creations. and i was in awe. :)

monday night we came home, and i ponned work on tuesday. psycho ben's birthday! we celebrated mooncake fest AND his birthday tt evening at lakeside hahaha. dun feel sad you're not invited because noone's really invited hahaha. just that the lakesidees (usual me jamie erastus) wanted to celebrate the full moon, and i happened to be talking to chiyang monday night so the next day chiyang ben and anand came. funny funny funny things we did. birthday boy bullied me D;

okay wednesday i dragged myself to work. today too. tomorrow too.
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANYU GE GE. :D

and one more thing! Fighter's club on facebook! hahahha it's such fun though kinda senseless if you think about it. but still! i am so sad i fought so hard, my supporters fought so hard and lost to tim D:

work

2007-09-17T20:34:00.001+08:00

work really gets suckier by the day. it's not the things they make me do, it's the mundane things they made me do every day. D: alot of people will say, 10 per hour, it's quite easy money. yeah, but i'm NOT happy working. i'd rather play with kids to earn less like psycho ben. hmm, maybe i'll like to consider what job i take up the next time, and not just the money factor.

anyway, this video is a part from a walk to remember. i really love this song and i think mandy moore is a very talented singer. her voice is amazing.

God is working miracles

2007-09-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

Healing.

yes, healing. i've been surviving with a wound i won't allow Him to touch. thank you Lord for last night. when i finally picked up courage to face you, when i finally think about this issue objectively, God spoke to me. And He showed me the truth, and the reasons. I've seen for myself, so that there's no denying, that what didn't happen, didn't happen for a reason. and what happened is probably caused by our own foolishness. i guess i was upset because i didn't understand, like how the king didn't understand his dream and was desperate to get things back into control. surrendering, is difficult. i am trying hard to move on from this drama, some big blur i cannot comprehend. question is, if you are not moving on, should i? God wants me to put it down, so He can fix it, or give me something else. 2 years later everything would have changed into something totally different. God's unpredictable. life's unpredictable.

maybe this will be the final realisation. and i will put it down. because God's answers came, and they were all i was waiting for. and now it's time for healing.

angst

2007-09-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

i cannot stand it. but i cannot let it out, i cannot let it go.

it's nothing compared to the pain Jesus went through. still, i don't think it's fair.

walk alone

2007-09-09T12:03:00.000+08:00

i didn't go to east coast park today like i planned to.
too tired. there are just some things people who think they know everything won't understand. they talk big they have noble aspirations they know how to deal with their problems and they can offer every possible solution to mine. but they don't understand i don't want solutions. i want someone who will walk with me through it.

that's all i want.

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again

secrets

2007-09-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

Only He can see inside my heart, and understand the deepest emotions hidden beneath. The core of my heart. All i really want to do now, is to find myself. All this while, i've been too busy looking for someone, and now God made me realise through many ways that maybe i am more important to me. That maybe i want to find me. And i do, but where do i start... i don't even know where i am.

or who i am.

2007-09-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

Daddy put rainbow in the cloud. The sky earlier on in the evening was beautiful, it was simply amazing, and the best thing i've seen - ever. i love you God.

Someone or something has romanced us from the beginning with creek-side singers and pastel sunsets, with the austere majesty of snowcapped mountains and the poignant flames of autumn colors telling us of something—or someone—leaving, with a promise to return. These things can, in an unguarded moment, bring us to our knees with longing for this something or someone who is lost; someone or something only our heart recognizes.

when the bees sting when the dogs bite when i'm feeling sad..... i might not be able to hear God, but He captivates me with the best. thank you. and shanyuuuuuu, you're appreciated, thank you brother. :)

office life is not much of life.

2007-09-03T22:09:00.001+08:00

this was me when i first reached the office this morning. i was smiling. i thought: hmm, what are they going to give me today? there's no more cold-calling... (cos alvin told me the ones we RUSHED on friday are the last batch!)

then, i got even more. this time, 15 pages. what you see above is one page. yeah, you can imagine my dumbfounded face and alvin's black face. anyway, we decided since this is never-ending, might as well do slowly and not be so stupid as last week. anyway alvin left at 12 plus for something, and i survived well on my own. my colleagues are quite cute la :D haha. and whoa whoa i witnessed office politics today.... sigh, real life.

^my face at 5 pm. i only finished 8 pages, meaning i called (8 times 36) companies, meaning i said the same thing 288 times, sometimes longer sometimes shorter, but i always have to say "hi, i'm calling from pacific internet." and once i almost said "hi, welcome to pacific ocean." i am not kidding you. telemarketing does weird things to my mind... i had to sms cerise to get thru the morning. i went to the washroom 5 times in the noon, and went to the pantry thrice. i am starting to get restless!

GOD BLESS ME.

i loveeeeee t103

2007-09-01T15:37:00.000+08:00

hahaha me aini eunice geneng jar and vegetarian! we met up on tues to talk about chalet, i didn't blog abt it so now here is the picture! :D

okayyyy i went to the gym with jam and joyce this morning, and i travelled home with jam, cos there's alot of time to spare. anyway, i am heading to church with her again sooon. lol. my legs are wobbly, man, i haven't been exercising. i bet i won't be able to get out of bed tmr. might as well, slep in before work starts again on monday hahaha. cerise is coming to sleepover! not at my place, but at jam's, but it's as good as mine. we're the lakesidees.

my shirt has a hole D:

first day at work

2007-08-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

my first day at work, it's interesting.

reported at 8:30am sharp, and the receptionist was late. so this guy opened the door for me, and i thought, who is he and why is he waiting too. then ended up, he is just like me, recruited for the same job, both of us. so i made a new friend, alvin. and the rest of the colleagues are nice, we went for lunch with a few of them at nus. i smsed howai that i was going to engineering side and he called me and asked me where i was hahaha... but i din meet him. alvin's dad turned out to be the uncle selling the popular fried kway tiao at church hawker!! LOL. okay and the hawker is going to be gone soon, really super depressing - imagine, no purple plate, no ye lai xiang, no hamcheeeeebang, no soya bean milk, NO NOTHING AT ALL. hais. anyway, back to my interesting day... we got caught in the rain on our way back to office. and for the rest of the 5 hours i just call up companies and ask them if they are interested in our broadband services, get shouted at, get rude remarks, get rejections... but also some potential costumers :D so for the 8 hours at the desk i call and talk and call and talk. it is insane.

i've talked to 340 people today, alvin talked to 440. cos he's faster than me! i have to finish my list tmr, then i'll have talked to 420! haha.

looking forward to work tmr? yes and no :/

pacific internet

2007-08-29T22:56:00.001+08:00

yesterday andy from pacific internet called me and asked me tons of questions through the phone while i am having lunch. today he asked me to go down for a face-to-face interview. tomorrow i am going to work! praise the Lord, i am so happy i got this telemaketing job :D the pay is good, and it's at science park, so it isn't that far. and yeahhh, peilin and maria, i am NOT going to work in F&B anymore haha... okay, so for the rest of you (erastus jamie cerise! chua jt) , i'll pray for you to get the job that will fit you perfectly. God provides :)

my working hours are super long though :X it's 8.30 to 6, with an hour lunch break in between. that's all. i hope i can live up to whatever expectations. err, and not get into any trouble, *cross my fingers* i am going to sleep at 1130! if not will sure be late tmr, and i will leave a bad first impression, and that's the last thing i want to do. can't blame me for being excited, this is the first real job i ever got.

job hunt

2007-08-28T10:10:00.000+08:00

went on a job hunt yesterday with cerise erastus and jamie. quite disappointed with something that happened, but nvm, it's not worth mentioning or staying disappointed with :) friendship is more than this. anyway i am still kinda tired from yesterday. i really hope to get the job at newyorknewyork though i asked peilin and she told me it sucks. love the people there already :D ...i have applied for so many jobs, and mostly still pending. i decided to skip eng wah interview today, and decided to just forget about the haagen dazs application. cos orchard towers is full of prostitutes and just not a good place i wanna step in just for interview, and 4.50 per hour is too little. NEWYORKNEWYORK PLEASE, GOD, or something better will be nice, like Aldo or sorts? hahaha. shopping with cerise was super funny. no no, actually, talking to cerise is super funny! Lol. our conversations always turn out funny. almost died laughing at raffles mall yesterday over sthg i cannot rmb now. ahhaha...

supposed to go running today with jamie and erastus. but jamie sent an sms at 1 plus a.m. saying she will not be able to wake up. and anyway it's raining heavily now. :X

ahhh.... give me the best job ever, Daddy! and make me exercise please.

story

2007-08-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

i love holidays. you get to do different things every day! :D friday night after Growth i went for seazzle, but all i did was to spend a night in school, with no good sleep, and left the next day morning. i heard sentosa was good, good for those who stayed :) i went to church for service. today i played basketball and watched rented vcds at jamie's.

tmr will be an exciting day.

anyway, today i read 1Samuel for the first time. i read the 1st chapter. i really love Hannah, i admire her faith. unwavering faith.

medsoc

2007-08-23T20:13:00.000+08:00

yay medsoc exam is over, which means exam is over, which means it's holidays now! :D thank you eugene for all the testing this and that, i think you made me understand alot of stuff, BUT i still flanked that stupid paper, because i didn't answer what they didn't ask, and therefore my 8 marks ans is 3 lines, and my 14 marks ans is half a page. ha. ha. how smart, peh sin ee. but guess what, i don't really care. because it's HOLIDAYS now! and i am sure i'll pass no matter what, so no worries, God bless me!

this is a picture in my medsoc textbook. it shows the effect of tv violence on kids... how kids imitate the adult's violent ways in the video. the imitation is so exact it's scary.

this is a view from my room window :D quite nice, actually, right? there's the playground, and the basketball court, and there's a fountain on the right side of the playground.

jamie is at my house now hahah! i am a happy girl.

God will give me the best

2007-08-22T00:03:00.000+08:00

3mths19days. still waiting in the rain for you to open your door.

if it's God's will, my heart will never change.
if God has decided to thwart it all, i would let it go easily.

but for now,
i know i am still with you. i am not ashamed. although i am not sure what went wrong, i don't know what was the problem or who was the one who caused it, and i am not sure what will this become in future. guess i'll wait after all. wait, not by counting down. not by hanging on crying screaming, no. not by shutting down my heart to any other possibilities. not by praying real hard and hoping God heard me.

i am doing this by being me. i will talk to you even if it means me taking the initiative, as usual. i will be there in case you decided to open up your door, cos this was what i promised, and i'm sorry i walked away for a while. but now i know what to do. i am not going to tell God what i want, i will let him tell me what He wants. so i move on, but i will not take my eyes off you. my heart is not willing to. He told me so, wait. yeah, okay, i wait. for whatever He has in plan for me. i cannot see the end, i never could. what had happened cannot be bullshit, no such coincidence.... must have happened cos it's part of God's plan.

wait, not for a result, but for His answers, whatever they may be. i am not afraid.
i will fall deeper if it means falling. i will cry harder in the end if it leads me to the end.

anyway, God will be there.

you ain't know nothing.

2007-08-20T16:20:00.000+08:00

blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i am officially mugging for medsoc as of today. haha not that this will last long - the paper is on thurs. i am on schedule. i've decided that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, and yada yada... at the end of the day i just wanna do well that's all! i will never wanna repeat module, it will just screw up the entire poly education.

i love strawberries. but i finished them :/

editor

2007-08-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

oh, just let me be a narcissist for once. i am so proud of myself cos...
I EDITTED THE FOOTAGES FOR DIRECTOR'S CUT :D

yay. editted it in church office today, with josh suggesting ideas. i think it's really funny and i hope COOS youth's gonna like it. yeah, i love final cut! hahaha.. oh and i am so elated i can now see maria wilson through skype. she seems so near... D: oh maria come back soon.

right now i shall put my heart and soul into studying for medsoc exam. i really wanna do well... it's the last last thing for this sem, and i want to end the sem beautifully. all the best, fellow mass commas. no more filming no more editting D; NO MORE DOUGLAS KWON! sobs.

hello!

2007-08-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging for the past week. school work makes people mad... for the past few days i haven't had the time. and with erastus lim staring at the screen while i type now, i'm not exactly in the perfect mood to blog. but oh well, i finally have the time now - i handed up locvid final project today! :D everyone, say yay! yeah and i am NOT going to do my webgra assignment. it's not wise, but i dunno how to do. D: serious.

i am soooo super glad all i am left with now is medsoc exam. okay, not very glad. but at least, it's one last thing left. :))))))) jamie erastus and chinwooooo are all mugging hehe. i have vivian on my lap now but i am not reading it. i need to gather all the stuff i need to study for medsoc.. cos i didn't pay attention during tutorials and now i'm desperate. D: yeah don't be like me.

Thus far has the Lord helped us!

God's glorious (and complicated) plan.

2007-08-07T23:44:00.002+08:00

we attended peckhwang's mum's funeral wake at the singapore casket. all i will say is, peckhwang is a really strong girl. and met many exclassmates from 4j whom i haven't seen for really long, and haven't talked to in ages.

well well.. God will lead me to my destiny.

heartache

2007-08-06T10:09:00.000+08:00

i am having marketing test in another 4 hours' time. and i'm at my last chapter. but i cannot concentrate now, out of focus all of a suddenly. overcome with subtle heartache. i still care and i know it's unfair.. but i have to do this, out of no logical reason, because you are quite illogical as well. and when God speaks, i obey. simple as that. He wants you for Himself. God is a jealous God, but He fights for our hearts. i feel peace not because He loves me more, but because i have given my heart to Him, which He doesn't want to share with anyone else. yet.

okay, randomness.
yesterday was a mugging day, like seriously. i studied 7 hours straight in the library with erastus and jamie doing crap half the time and marcus joining us at 4. yeah, it's a fruitful day, like jamie said (all she did was study for say, 2 hours.) hahaha every sunday shall be mugging day till exam is over.. oh, that means i'm left with one last sunday LTL. by the way, i've revolutionized LOL to LTL. try guessing what it is hahahha!

back to marketing zzzzzzz

trust & promises

2007-08-04T11:04:00.000+08:00

not because of what you've done... in fact you've done nothing. but you indirectly uncover my fear. fear of broken promises, of abandonment, and you reminded me of my Dad, and even my Mum. i just thought, that's what my Dad would do.. and i hate it. yes i've forgiven him, but the fear of being hurt the same stupid way again is what's left. i cannot trust anyone, because i cannot tell when i can trust... i am too gullible like you said. and someone who's known me for only 5 days can tell me i'm too innocent and it's not good. to protect my heart, is to not take risks. yeah i don't want to believe whatever promise you've made again. i don't want to believe whatever promise anyone else makes.. other than promise of God. i will only trust Him. because people break promises, no matter what, it might be of no choice. so don't promise me anything. there's too many broken promises in my life, too many names to name if you were to ask me who has made a promise to me so certain, and ended up breaking it. i am tired of dashed hopes. i am keeping myself close to God. to you i'm sorry, this is the only explanation i would give, i guess i am selfish too. in conclusion, promises are nothing but crap.

connie

2007-08-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

this is connie and she's really sweet! she's only 6 years old. :D

graphcomm.

2007-07-31T17:52:00.000+08:00

byebye graphcomm. i will miss it though. i actually think illustrator and photoshop are really kinda easy now. :D and fun as well. today's presentation was..
....... haha, i don't know. nervewrecking? perhaps. with time running out and all, but THANK GOD, THANK GOD, jenny low was not there, and clement tay was lenient on time. :D and i love mr tay! he's really the nicest teacher i've ever had.

this is MARCOM advertising :D

this is JACEE &co. hahaha

T103 :) we actually had class photos! all thanks to me and my digicam whoots!

And this is the comeback of the camwhores. Aini looks like a man here..

Eugene gave me a serious face that says: i am actually faking this face

erm.... when tim goes mad...

Guess what, we were supposed to prepare for a proper presentation for webgra, but noone knew. and liswanto seriously just hates our class D: i have no idea why he seems to like my group though. he nodded his head (which is a bias act cos he shook his head at all the other grps), and even when we haven't even shown him anything yet, he said ours look promising. don't know what to say..

And everyone's really tired. so many tired faces. People, let's hang in there, we are in it together... all the stress and pressure, we all feel the same. unhappiness arose and all... and bad things keep happening, like audrey losing her prada phone. hais, but well, it will be over SOON! i love you all, tired faces.

to cheer everyone up:

here is henghan KPOing.

fly away

2007-07-29T22:17:00.000+08:00

like kites with broken strings. they fly away.
i should have known, i should have kept away like i intended to.

but now

what can i do
other than to stand and watch my kite fly away again.

PRAISE THE LORD

2007-07-29T01:30:00.001+08:00

hahahahhahaha although i am half brain dead and i cannot think at all now, and i feel totally disorientated, i don't care, i want to blog! this 100th post on my blog is a tribute to FLASH 8. i finished up the flash movieeeeeee!!!!! hahahha i love this moment like crazy! thanks to ching, who's been doing flash with me for webgra. we kinda switch between the movie and the interactive one, lol, but the thing is, WE DID IT.

oh God i love you.

ok, i don't want my brain to get infected with virus, like chloe's exclassmate she told me about.. damn scary. so i'm gonna rest now! and i hope when i wake up at 6am i will find irma'a mockup designs in my mailbox so that i can finish up the gracom designs for marketing! IRMA please, pretty please.

okay, and we're left with 5 scenes for filming, and we're done with 5, so we're half way there. i hope we can finish up! :D i love our actors and actress. really grateful for them, esp dear benjamin goh heng ye!

WAH OMG, i just thought my mac crashed. it went black, then i realised i accidentally pressed the ctrl for the brightness. LOL. okayyy this shows i need to rest. almost died of heart attack...

You are my strength

2007-07-27T22:12:00.001+08:00

Oh Lord,

i am so very tired. i feel so much frustration in me, i cannot help it. schoolwork is getting to me this time. last term wasn't even this bad.. now i know, it gets worse each time. i pulled myself to church after filming. i couldn't stop crying, because i was so tired. really quite sickening - this fatigue. the camera is the heaviest thing i have ever brought home.. i took a cab home after worship, i couldn't carry that damn thing. and now i wonder how am i going to school tomorrow... hais, God help me please. i guess there's no choice, i have to cab again. i just hope that i'l have the energy to get thru this weekend, monday, and tuesday. i hate marcom. i really hate it. i hate flash too. D: God help me rejoice even in this situation. amen.

i'm losing my grip.
but Your love carries me.

chill to the bone

2007-07-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

happy birthday joseph!

i went to school today, and did nothing productive, and came home after 3 hours of breathing ngeeann fresh air. oh, not really unproductive i guess... i created a brand new neopets account and now i play neopets again! amirul and janice are my friends. bringing back the neopets craze, how exciting :/ i need to figure out how to do interactive flash thing, time to contribute sthg for webgra project. not that i din do anything, i'm just better at logo designing than at flash. i hate flash i hate flash! D: i am so sad. i am not doing anything about my sch work yet, cos everything seems to get stuck. i cannot do the leaflet cos i need the theme. gosh... i am going jogging tomorrow, time to burn some calories! oh did i mention? i completed electric man 2 normal mode. LOL. today is totally wasted. nvm, for now, some more neopets...

it's crashing down!

2007-07-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

yes OMG. we all realised we're in deep shitttttttt! everything's due next week D: i think. D: D: D: i am going to transform into zombie mode right now. oh man, no time to waste at all, to think i still thought i can wake up at 12 tmr cos there's no gracom consultation. haven't done the leaflet. have to meet for webgra. weekends are for filming. thurs marketing meeting. AH! God is mighty to save...

i will survive.

anyway went to sentosa yesterday to recce for 9th august event. everyone was tired out, but we're doing it for a big cause! :D everyone, come for filming extravaganza! haha.

Who am i - casting crowns

2007-07-20T10:02:00.001+08:00

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

me and the stomach.

2007-07-19T13:15:00.000+08:00

:D i scored 10 out of 10 for marketing test today. God blessed! okay, i admit i didn't do it out of my own ability... you get what i mean.... but the last few questions i just guessed the answers. and there are a few questions i did do them on my own. still, it doesn't justify cheating. but OH WELL clement knows all our notes are on our desktops, so... okay fine, i'm a bad girl.

well well it's already thursday i realise. days just fly... i cannot really recall what i've been doing for the past 2 days. it always happen to me. i don't remember. a few scenes here and there. but i don't remember anything meaningful. hais. i am writing crap in my own book of life. i woke up with a headache this morning and i almost threw up the ban mian i ate last night - the only proper meal i had yesterday. adding up all the things i've ate for the past 3 days, it's less than a normal meal i used to eat at buffets. what's happening to my stomach? it keeps resisting food.

i hate this. i feel so bulimic. but i am not! i just skip meals too often and now i screwed my stomach up. ok... i shall go back to doing my work and hopefully i'll remember to eat lunch.

seventeen

2007-07-16T23:37:00.000+08:00

yes everybody. i turned 17! on 160707.

this year's birthday is really amazing. i love all of you people. 3-days celebration.. is more than enough. and i feel so loved and blessed. all of you from COOS are God's gifts, and you people really made a huge difference in my life.

cell
thank you howai yongjin jengting esther grace shanyu liane cheryl and of course au ze ming. not just for celebrating with me my birthday. but also for all the love you people has showered on me all these times. and to howai: there's nothing such as a cheapskate present okay! claypot or no claypot, i will still feel as touched. yongjin, the jellybeans are like the best thing to get sugar high on. jengting you didn't make me puke. esther i will keep the piece of paper forever cos it's blessings added up. grace i know you went ard looking for a present and happy book makes me happy, thank you. shanyu&cheryl for getting the band to say happy birthday hahahha! liane for the card you have yet given me :p finally THANK YOU BENJAMIN AU. you put in the most effort, for everything... i don't know how to thank you enough. :))))))))))))))) I LOVE ALL YOU AXIOMATORS, whoot sounds cooler than transformers.

COOS
wow. what can i say... you people are amazing. and apart from my own cell ppl, there are wonderful people like jamie erastus marcus cerise joyce psychoben ferdi! try to surprise me eh?? hahaha now i know why God let me wake up nauseous on my birthday.. heh heh no plans can be hidden from Daddy. and He doesn't want you all to torture me on my birthday :p thank you to all of you i really appreciate it. especially ferdi erastus and marcus for coming down all the way, and ben au, though i didn't really ate the cake cos i'm not feeling very good, i love it though you said it sucks. jamie and erastus i love the pillow :D i can see so much effort. mrs.fields' from cerise!! :D marcus, kueh-la-pis can be back to being hipfood, let's bring it back to life ahhah! psychoben, you are such a potato, but nvm i know you were trying to surprise me haha. joyce, for the mango pudding though i didn't finish it and puke a little of it out. and i didn't forget you, joanna! lovely entry on your blog :D thank you for the movie too, jamie erastus ben au howai yongjin. i am very happy. alot of random people from church came up to say happy bithday :)thank you to all for the blessings.

My parents
i have to thank my parents this year. really really thank them. my mum bought me my favourite mango icecream cake from swensens'. and i know all this while she loves me as much, though we seldom talk nowadays. and my dad actually bothered to come home to celebrate together. though the situation seemed awkward and foreign to me - the 3 of us sitting together, happy faces - i felt very happy. how long since the last time... i cannot recall. and so before my 17th birthday, i learnt to wear forgiveness like a crown. God is so amazing.

Friends
thank you everybody who has called me or sms me or say face-to-face to me HAPPY BIRTHDAY. thank you dear jasline! for the fun time at holland v :D

God Daddy
huge thank you for naming me Lord. i know why i had such an awesome birthday this year. cos i have you!! thank you God, for the wonder of my being. i love you.

I AM SEVENTEEN.
love all of you people.

how far is heaven

2007-07-12T20:55:00.000+08:00

pathetic. my joy doesn't even last for 2 days. and i've been thinking about something on my way home tonight.

when something happens, like a car accident.
and the scenerio is like this:
A lady and her friend decided to jaywalk. the lady gets knocked down by a motorist, and the friend with her was perfectly okay. the thing is that it happened too fast for the friend to warn her. and lady herself was distracted, otherwise she would've seen the motorbike. the motorist didn't mean for it to happen and he did try to brake. but everything happened real fast. and the lady died.

whose fault is it? could it be the lady's fault? could it be the friend's fault? or is it solely the motorist's fault? or rather, whose responsibility is it? probably the lady's own responsibility. why? because it's her life she decided to risk, and she wasn't paying attention. but when we talk about fault, which everyone loves to point a finger at others for, it's quite unclear. couldn't be the lady's fault - she's the victim. but she jaywalked. could be the friend's fault - hello? just scream for your friend is that so difficult? but friend was probably slow in reaction. could be the motorist's fault - he was the killer, accident or not. but he was probably innocent as well... he was just riding on the road, he didn't break any rules. could be the LTA's fault - couldn't they just make more zebra crossings?

okay, the point is, when we talk about fault in any issue, it seems totally strange. cos finger-pointing happens and everyone is reasonable. which means only one thing... everyone's at fault. yet, nobody runs away from responsibilities. so who is responsible? probably the lead in the story. cos everything is because of her/him.

but sometimes the person with the responsibility don't know what to do, you see... in the context of the accident, the lady's already dead. what else can she do?

i'm still with you

2007-07-11T20:49:00.000+08:00

happy birthday au ze ming!

sometimes things happen out of the blue. and we ask Daddy in heaven what happened. no answer. this is when we ought to trust He'll deliver His promise and give us the best. and stop questioning Him. i tried my best, i am not going to try too hard, not anymore. i am very happy, even amidst such weird situation. i am not afraid like i was. because i know His will... i know i won't lack anything. it's man's choice to take it or leave it. so i choose God. i choose God over everything else. i won't turn away from the truth.

every little thing's gonna be alright. :)

captivating

2007-07-09T10:17:00.000+08:00

here is something from Captivating;

Perfect in beauty. That is the key. Lucifer was gorgeous. He was breathtaking. And it was his ruin. Pride entered Lucifer's heart. The angel came to believe he was being cheated somehow. He craved the worship that was being given to God for himself. He didn't merely want to play a noble role in the Story; he wanted the Story to be about him. He wanted to be the star. He wanted the attention, the adoration for himself.

Satan fell because of his beauty. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty. He destroys it in the natural world wherever he can. Strip mines, oil spills, fires, Chernobyl. He wrecks destruction on the glory of God in the earth like a psychopath committed to destroying great works of art.

But most especially, he hates Eve.

The Evil One had a hand in all that has happened to you. If he didn't arrange for the assault directly - and certainly human sin has a large enough role to play - then he made sure he drove the message of the wounds home into your heart. He is the one who has dogged your heels with shame and self-doubt and accusation. He is the one who offers the false comforters to you in order to deepen your bondage. He is the one who has done these things in order to prevent your restoration. For that is what he fears. He fears who you are; what you are; what you might become. He fears your beauty and your life-giving heart.

You really won't understand your life as a woman until you understand this:

You are passionately loved by the God of the universe.
You are passionately hated by his Enemy.

And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy. One who sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul. Let us turn now to him.

i have left this book untouched for quite a while. oops, sorry jamie. somehow God asked me to pick it up this morning and bring it to school and read it while waiting for lecture to start. well.. i am still waiting for lecture to start. haha. and i feel so revived now! i think i know what to do :)

the ransomed heart

2007-07-06T16:35:00.000+08:00

locvid group is having some problems with the final project script D: God, we really have to complete the script soon so we can start shooting, there's really not much time. We still have to juggle with marcom+gracom project and webgra... man, i can see the hot soup from here, and i don't wanna land in there. seriously.

in a couple of hours' time i'll be in church! and i can't wait.

muttons.

2007-07-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

Interviewed vernon a and justin ang in the morning. me and audrey went to mediacorp radio building, and we saw venessa lopez, glenn ong, and of cos the muttons. :D coolio, i wanna be a DJ, the studios are so cool! whoots. the interview went well. vernon and justin are really nice and humorous. me and audrey had so many bimbo moments trying to start up the recording cam. the cam is scary, makes weird noise and weird things pop out, i thought it's a transformer LOL. and we ended the interview within half an hour :) pro.

i didn't attend lessons again today. went to town to study.. and some weird thing happened. i don't know exactly what, don't know exactly why, but i just wanna pull away from all this, yet at the same time i cannot seem to do it. is this real? or is this just another prank?

God help me. i am helpless.

i felt your heartbeat

2007-07-03T01:04:00.000+08:00

thump.
thump.
thump thump.
thump.

i must be mad.

love me

2007-07-01T00:56:00.000+08:00

i have faith; this will soon be over and we can be friends again. i really really hope that day will come. i don't know how, i don't know when, but i want to be able to look at you again.

so tired.

2007-06-28T20:16:00.000+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

shit happens.

anyway, today is junkfood day. i've ate so much candies kavina brought back from london, and i ate mac for lunch -.- and more junk for dinner. nevermind, i don't wish to live past 50 years of age anyway.

i gym, i'm a gymnast.

2007-06-26T18:05:00.000+08:00

hahaha nah, i'm not a gymnast! but i'm back to gymming :D i ran 4.2 km today in np gymworkz. super shiok ok! the showers in there are fabulous. nice nice. :D :D :D going again on friday. today we went to school just for 2 hours of dreamweaver and photoshop tests. 20%, no kidding. the room is a freezer, as usual... hais, more tests coming up.. and project deadlines. :X no time to waste, this 1 month plus is ultimate! i just want to get it over with..............

i cannot contact vernon a! ugh. and me and audrey need to interview him by this week, i don't care. i don't want to procrastinate.

having dinner with teechewxiang in a while more. i... skipped my jap lesson :/

powerrrrr encounter.

2007-06-24T16:22:00.000+08:00

Gallery Hotel, although it's a small 3-star hotel, i love it :) if one day i run away from home, i'll pick that place to stay. it's right beside the Singapore river, which i thought is the longest river in s'pore, until someone told me otherwise.

this is the view from the room. well, not much, but still, nice in a sense. if you look carefully you can see the art bridge! :D haha i love that bridge.

^yeap this bridge. i love the bakery we found there too. i've never tasted bread like that! man, it just makes me feel like opening a bakery myself. maybe i will. :D

this is the very amusing bathroom. it has a big full-length mirror beside the toilet bowl, so you can actually look at yourself shit. :X uh sounds crude but that was what i thought.

and you know what? the bathroom door is frosty but you can still peep if you want. that's amber in there lol.

amber's bear's heart stinks and she said it's her smell. myhand made friends with her bear. and the bed you see there? on it lies a pillow way huge, i can sleep there forever.

haha anyway power encounter was okay. i wouldn't say awesome cos many times it was boring and draggy, i mean the teachings. i like personal ministry though. :) nice experience, i love the hotel! amber is a crazy roommate; she jumps on the bed and onto the bed like nobody's business. jamie's stomach is screwed after she returned from mission trip, poor girl. and jingxin's lameness is only a level below zac's. maybe guys from their cell are all like that lol.

oh OH, and you know what's the best thing about this whole thing other than God? it's the food! the food we had was awesome. AWESOME. AWESOME!!!! haha like seriously i haven't had such satisfying lunch for a long time, i thank God for it! oooh and we learnt toothpick tricks from master jamie.

home sweet home now.... i am going to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep zzz. tmr is a new school term, which means deadlines, and i can predict i am going to turn back into zombie-mode soon. ciao!

clean-cut

2007-06-21T09:43:00.000+08:00

i need a new clean layout, so here goes. everything out, except for my posts. i lost my tagboard in the process. so i guess you people have to use the comments thing.

this is it, i've decided. i don't want to give a damn about anything that doesn't really matter. moving on means not turning back, isn't it? fine, i shan't turn around to look at your face anymore. since you're long gone anyway, and i doubt you care. but then i am afraid of what lies ahead. i am scared it's be just another disappointment. all that has happened has made me cynical, scared.

everything's made to be broken?
if it's true, then i'd rather everything's not made.

talk to my hand.

2007-06-20T10:42:00.000+08:00

FOSSETT leaders :D
ferdinand yongjin meeeee.

talk to my hand.

it feels good to be home alone doing nothing in the day once again. haven't been like that since... since the last holidays. time just flies and things that happened were now just a big blur in my head, and it's only 2 months. there wasn't a minute i can remember that i stop and think about what i'm doing, the only time i stop rushing is when i'm in church thinking about God. even then i cannot clear my mind, school work and all. the pace is... too fast. i didn't have time for myself. i went jogging yesterday morning alone, when was the last time i did that i cannot remember. and this is what i mean- i lost connection with my inner-self, and now trying to regain it. but soon i'll be thrown back into the whirlpool again, not knowing where i'm going, clinging on to nothing but God. finding all the peace i can from God.

adventure camp

2007-06-17T12:46:00.000+08:00

whatever bad things might have happened during camp, i leave them behind. i'll remember the laughter the fun and the joy :D being a GL, i was so tired and trying, and i am glad after all these i can look back and say i never regret going for the camp. i've learnt alot. and the person i wanna thank most throughout the camp is ferdi :) wanna thank yongjin cheryl liane jengting esther howai and shanyu for being there as well. i don't know what really happened that i cried those tears, maybe i was just tired. but well, we're all still a big family in Christ. it says in the Word to forgive and love one another. i love my FOSSETT :D i'm proud of my kids. i love HILLARY too. and there's pugh kunst garside adams stevens magellan piccard and armstrong. everyone did great. the camp comm the GLs the campers. everyone. :)) i love the apples and i love gestures.

i've made 2 major decisions during this camp. God will carry me through.

this is a bottomless pit.

2007-06-12T11:07:00.000+08:00

FINALLY gracom is over, for the moment. phew, handed in the 2 indiviidual projects on time. no more logos and brochure. thank you God for giving me strength and sustaining me throughout this period of intense pressure and sleepless nights. now the weight is lightened, but more is coming, i can smell the freaking workload - it's not far away. and work NEVER gets cleared, i still have assignments on hand. mass comm :X now i'm scared. but heck, i'll never regret choosing jc over poly. i'll rather work my ass off projects and assignments than kill my braincells for mugging aimlessly. locvid is another killer. i cannot finish my editing, but thank God for the wonderful people he sent. eugene and jarrel! haha i owe you guys big. i owe ferdi and joseph big time too. they acted for my adapted project :D and they had to make like quite a number of trips down to NP. really grateful for them. it's 2 hours to camp! i am GL hahhahha coolio! so very excited. it's 5 days for GLs woots! COOS youth adventure camp heh... i bet ferdi and my grp's gonna be the best, cos we got the biggest grp. :D :D :D

no worries. happy happy happy!

setting a new pace

2007-06-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

"above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
-proverbs 4:23

i love You and Your Word.

thank you too, boney. one day i'll write an essay as a tribute to you ;) for all that you've done for me as a brother.

You laid aside Your majesty

2007-05-31T10:58:00.000+08:00

You laid aside Your majesty
Gave up everything for me
Suffered at the hands of those You have created

You took all my guilt and shame
When You died and rose again
Now today You reign in heaven and earth exalted

I really want to worship You my Lord
You have won my heart and I am Yours
Forever and ever I will love You

You are the only one who died for me
Gave Your life to set me free
So I lift my voice to you in adoration

thank you God for everything. thank you God for the people you've placed in my life who have become so precious to me. thank you God for guarding my heart.

luke 18:27 "what is impossible with men is possible with God"

back down to earth

2007-05-28T10:27:00.000+08:00

ok, the weekend's over and here i am, sitting in lecture. no, nowhere near heaven. which means Daddy doesn't want to take me now, and i just have to get through whatever shit i'm in. oh great, just great. no more procrastinating, no more wishing i can die before deadline! ugh.... just have to try my best.

i don't know what to think about you now. what are you trying to show me, what do you want now. what do i want now. what is happening now. what to do now. my my.... this time i'll just let it flow. no no no no no no no no i'm not mad! just cannot imagine anything good to come out of this. too cynical to think this is not just another fall. just another joke. just another prank, the favourite game guys play. thanks for pushing me away before i let go first. now it feels much easier.

divergence

2007-05-26T20:03:00.000+08:00

maria left this morning.

never meant for it to be so tearful, but i was so afraid i'll miss the last hug i wanted to give her. she knows she's loved and she'll be missed. the grace her mum has shown to me when i was in a big mess at maria's place, i'll never forget. her granny said thank you to me, and it just broke my heart. she's still on the plane now... i pray for God to protect them and bless them.

when i looked back and think, i realised how life and take a turn so fast. me and maria. we were supposed to be in ac, i was supposed to move to bt gombak a few blks away from her, we were supposed to go to school together every morning, and study together every night. and then within 3 mths, things took a huge turn for both of us, and i believe for many others too. well, i;m really sad, but i know God does things for a reason, and i have faith in Him, that no matter what it'll be the best for us.

so wherever maria will be, i'll be happy to know that she's blessed.

i've been sick these few days, and my head hurts. i really appreciate what someone did for me, really really grateful, though i might insist you're a big bully and a meanie hahaha. oh and of course thanks to all the most adorable ppl in church! i think you all know who you are la. :D

i'm going to sleep for 12 hours.

GOD

2007-05-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

everything that's happening,
keep making me think that heaven is definitely better than this Earth so full of rubbish.

GOD TAKE ME PLEASE.

i don't mind no hamcheeebang or tangyuans in heaven, i just want to go to You. i don't want to stay here anymore. what a torture, what a mess.

God our potter

2007-05-24T10:04:00.000+08:00

this is interesting. i'm sitting through medsoc tutorial now, and ms thomas is going through the practice debate...

define SHAPE (verb)
to give form to/ to make

"like a potter making something out of clay with a masterplan in mind, an image in mind..."

and then i'm reminded of God.
He's the potter who made us,
created us in His image,
with a plan He has for us.

how wonderful. :)

how to give up

2007-05-19T01:19:00.000+08:00

the most difficult thing, i've learnt,
is not to perservere.
is not to hold on to something you're not sure of.
is not to find the truth.
is not to try to see what's ahead,
is not to hear God.
is not to obey God.

the most difficult thing to do is to give up.

and so i'm nearing this crossroad. where i'll have to decide what to do, or stand there forever until someone comes and pull me along. i am dying underneath a pile of workload. and my heart is sinking like crazy. and i'm only bathing in the morning 1am, 2am, cos i only get home after midnight. and i can never sleep unless it's past 3. tell me, with this emotional physical mental burdens, how do i smile. maybe i asked for too much, so God gave me so much. serve me right. i ought to stop binging, cos i'm falling sick. my body is screaming no, and i feel like dying.

throughout the whole ordeal, it's when you've decided to give up, that you feel the most miserable .

tangyuans!!

2007-05-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

I LOVE TANGYUANS.
i am so super elated i found the tangyuan stall in clementi. yongjin said he's never seen me so happy before, so can you imagine?! omg it's just simply heavenly. i feel so touched when i ate them ok! hahaha and the peanut soup! woooO! shiok ah! hahaha i am on the quest of discovering my favourite food. so that i can ask God for them in heaven. :D cheese prata at mr prata was nice too. and that's a pic with yongjin and jengting with his onions.

been helping jamie with her fundraising. i hope she'll be able to go for the mission trip! God will provide, so no worries. we need to make somemore cookies, my dear! and then we can sell them in church this weekend :D haha making cookies is fun. anyone who wanna contribute to this good cause, just let me know yeah? :)

i was amused with kavina's suspender. i really like it! :D and i promised her to help her promote her blog. thefratellis.blogspot.com GUYS, please take a look.

and this is what happens when gracom lesson threatens to "turn my brain into goo" (quote from audrey) -- you have to distract yourself by doing sthg such as camwhoring in the restroom.

every week just seems to get busier.. like once the workload starts to grow, it'll never stop, and it'll never get lighter. but it's okay, i'm doing my best with strength from dear Daddy.. and even if i roll down the hill, He won't let me get hurt in a way that's irreversible. i believe it goes the same for everything else- He'll catch me if i fall.

finding my peace again

2007-05-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

T103 is getting high!
camwhoring during locvid was sooooo fun hahaha and mr kwon was totally trying not to get pissed with us. i've learnt that when eunice screams, that's it -- eardrums bursts. i don't know why i'm so stupid. i didn't install my final cut express, and i'm only doing it now. at, let's see, the wee hours again. so i have to go back to the room on monday to capturing the video to do editting by fri :X

i was soooooo glad joanna stayed for my cell meeting. there were only 5 of us but we tried our best for God. and to joanna: stay strong and find courage from the Lord. there's so many people he placed around you to help you in times of need, so don't give up anything! :)

all this while i've been too busy to really think about stuff. it's like pressure from every aspect of life just starts to press in, for better or for worse it doesn't matter, just that when things are so packed they start to get messy, my head spins. and i don't want to think. i just know that i need peace... i give up trying to find out what i really want or what i am sure of. i give it all up to God. i'll let Him direct my life. honestly, it's easier said than done. maybe i should stop worrying for the others and start to look at myself in the mirror.

jamie is over at my place now, sleeping. i hope we can both wake up and get out of house in time to go to church for clare's baptism and our own baptism class. :)

mel's down.

2007-05-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

ok it's near 1am and MEL's down so i cannot check what i'm supposed to have by 9am. i remember there's something i should've done, but haven't, and i cannot check now, so i reckon i should come and update my bloggie.

this week is hectic.
mon i was sick, so i missed the lectures. tuesday was yet another blur, another rushed-for-the-whole-day day. AND CRAZY OKAY we got 2 individual gracom assignments due in ard a month's time.... i think i'm alr as good as dead. wednesday was crazy. i just reached home at 12 plus after movie and dinner and all the fun with klallam! i love klallam :D though linna still gets my name wrong after all this time. hais.. hahaha. and in the morn we did our vending machine locvid assignment. whoa, tiring. i figured i'll never ever become a director. i hate that job. but for all the fun we had, i'll give thumbs up for yest's filming. but i think we have to film more today. troublesome! and lessons starting in another 8 hours' time. hais, very soon my entries will probably be: lesson's starting in an hour's time and i haven't slept. oh gosh i can totally imagine. not going for volleyball anymore today, i'll need to do research before fri otherwise i won't be able to get anything done on time! ugh!

i'm looking forward to this weekend though. i really love cell and church and the darlings i'll get to see in church! shanyu's going to help me with my gracom asses :D :D OH AND DID I MENTION? i'm going for baptism classes starting this sunday! ahahhahaaha busy busy busy.

spiderman3 was... not impressive. but spidey is still my favourite heeeeero.
how i wish spidey's uncle is with me. :(

busified.

2007-05-06T12:31:00.000+08:00

He will lift me up.

i must thank God for all the things He has given me. now that i'm fasting for a month and taking five at the same time, He knows He has to keep me occupied. and guess what, i'm super busy now!! rushing for projects and schwork, joining church june camp as GL, going to go for baptism classes and the baptism itself, and soon i'll be serving. haha! my years will be so filled with Gifts from Daddy. at least, it's better than having nothing to do and feeling meaningless. i will do the work He has called me to do :) yay, ganbatte ganbatte!

and of course i thank Him for the people he placed in my life too. these people are taking up my time as well and i dun mind cos i love them all! and i want to give them my time, so that i won't be "wasting time" by just waiting. hehe this is a vibrant life you're reading about!

cos you know we'll make it thru

2007-05-04T17:28:00.000+08:00

i am very happy, because of the simple fact that Daddy is almighty and He loves me so much. i called, He answered. i was totally amazed by the whole experience. and now i know what pastor vic meant when he said pray like an innocent child, and He'll give it to you. now i believe.

God meant it when He said wait. so i am going to do it for God, and you need not feel bad. cos it's not your will, it's God's. and i will not waste these 5 years. He won't bluff me. even if there won't be an outcome, i'd have learnt how to love.

"Though the fig tree does not bud
And there are no grapes on the vines,
Though the olive crop fails
And the fields produce no food,
Though there are no sheep in the pen
And no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The sovereign Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights."

overnight prayer

2007-05-01T16:49:00.000+08:00

i love overnight prayer! i really love it. okay i know i said i'm going to fast from food, blogging and all distractions right? BUT i'm only fasting from one thing now hahaha, i still eat, i still blog :D God is really really amazing and simply awesome! all my praise goes out to Him. i had a lot of fun during OP, so unexpected, but i find myself closer to Him, coos and the wonderful people around me. i love all of you people; cellmates and fuellers! i realised also how God changed my life ever since i've come to know Him. it's like i'm leaving my old self behind, leaving my old life behind, leaving my old friends (who don't really care) behind.. i still have my old best friends la! but, God brought the most wonderful people into my life. and isn't this the whole idea of being reborn? :) how amazing.

Lord give me strength

2007-04-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

"through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
if you find honey, eat just enough-
too much of it, and you will vomit.
seldom set foot in your neighbor's house-
too much of you, and he will hate you."

God's message is loud and clear.
and i will obey Him, because He knows best.
before i go into the period of fasting-
from food, blogging, and all distractions,
i will make this last post.
and i will try my hardest to follow Him.
my spirit has to be kept high,
i cannot fall.
in weakness,
i will draw strength from God.
and Lord will lead us through.
i will never walk away from you,
i'm just going to be invisible for a while,
present, but invisible.
so that we can both hear Him.
just remember i'm still waiting in the rain.

if all the raindrops are...

2007-04-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

it's raining heavily out here, but i really don't mind. i just want to stay near, just in case at any point of time, you decide to open your door and let me in. i'll wait quietly and patiently because God wants me to. there's nothing you can say or do to chase me away so i can find another shelter because there's no other shelter, and you know i won't give in, so don't ever try again. because if i walk away, the rain will never stop. no questions, no doubts, i'll just wait and pray. take time to rearrange, take time to make decisions, and when you're ready, you know i'm at your doorstep. when that time comes, just unlock your door and God will stop the rain.

i know the rose

2007-04-27T13:53:00.000+08:00

once again it's friday. the weather is insane- it rained and then it shined and then it rained... like my emotions. up and down and up and down.... non-stop. yes, non-stop. bitter sweet. like dark chocolates. sometimes i really don't get it, but i don't think i need to understand. many a time, it's not understanding it that helps, it's feeling it. i like dark chocolates. but this is too bitter sweet. yet i don't mind walking with you through the rain.

ok la ok la i'm feeling emo again la! but it's ok cos i bet all of you the next entry will be me saying i'm happy again! and none of you would be surprise.

never alone

2007-04-26T14:48:00.000+08:00

i realised i've been blogging extremely frequently. well whatever i have things to blog! haha i'm sitting in the library now with amirul aini and waiyin and we're BORED. bored bored bored. i wanted to study my medsoc but i think i'll tak a nap after this lol. super tired; i woke up at 5.30 this morn and then i couldn't sleep D: and i have volleyball later! but i'm happy i have volleyball :D ahahah. i'm your energizer!

SO
God heard me. i bet He read my blog k! hahaha anyway i am really happy now after all! i love all you people who are here for me. Cheryl mama, especially you. after you talked to me and also the smses, i always feel lifted up. and i'm really glad you know what's happening through Him. things are good now. i don't ask for much, Lord. i am satisfied with what You're giving me now.

i was never alone.
i really thank God he sent me to you too :)

do i have confidence?

2007-04-25T10:05:00.001+08:00

it was such a dumb thing to do, especially when i waited for nothing, but that was just one hour and it won't change anything. it just made my heart sink a little. just a little. but now i'm not waiting for just an hour. it may be a month or a few months, or maybe even a year? i don't know. i don't know if i have confidence in myself or in you. because this is so vague, so weakly-rooted. it has only been 4 days, and i'm already feeling so suppressed. and i keep thinking about this. i cannot think about anything else. God is in control, i know. so i pray everyday, that He take charge of my life, cos my mind and soul are tired. i feel pathetic relying on one single sms to make myself feel better everyday. i feel so alone in this.

i can't help falling in love

2007-04-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

it's tuesday, my longest day. i rushed all the way up the hill at 10:05am for gracom and it ended 1 and a half hours earlier -.- felt so not worthed. i don't understand 90% of the things taught in gracom... i like illustrator alot cos it's so interesting but i don't know how to use it. D: i'm worried i'll fail my gracom. really don't wanna fail anything. went to SIM for lunch with class. and now i'm in the library. in a few mins time we'll have to go for liswanto's lesson.

luckily i have God with me, i don't feel anything lacking. but still, i miss you.

drama

2007-04-23T11:40:00.000+08:00

i'm back in school after a dramatic weekend. thanks to God and everyone who prayed for me, and you, i'm feeling much better today, and not as messed up. i'm quite sure what i'm doing now and i'll just trust God and leave everything in His hands for He knows what's best for me :) all my classmates sitting around me are looking at this as i type but well, I DUN CARE HAHAHHA. all of you are such KPOs! lol... okok anyway i'm still a happy person! haha.. WHAT?! heng han just showed us this table he said we have to memorise D: D: oh no. hais... blehh whatever. God will stand by me :D taking things slow is better, and i know that's what He wants me to do cos He's been telling me that through so many people, so i'll obey. i love God most!

love

2007-04-21T09:35:00.000+08:00

love comes from God. and it's the greatest love ever. and isn't that enough? why are we all still searching then? but God wants us to love each other, and every emotion we can feel is given by God. and then i'm now standing at this point, i don't know what to do. we all don't know what to do. God will heal, but firstly, can we withstand his test? i've only slept for 3 hours. i am tired, i cannot sleep in peace. i don't know what i'm trying to say. i'm no longer confused, thank God. but i'm feeling rotten. it is the guilt? i'm afraid to move. i'm scared. i don't want to build happiness on someone else's sorrow. God, what do you want me to do now? we're all your children. help us.

volleyball

2007-04-20T00:22:00.000+08:00

it's midnight so it's friday and friday's good cos i love fridays. hahaha! my lessons on fridays are 3-6pm sooooo short :D and then i'll go for cell. yay. i reached home at eleven plus earlier on cos i went to eat macdonald's after volleyball. macdonald's shld come up with better toys la. their pollypocket toy is so lame i thought the box thingy is a coffin or sthg. cos when u put the girl in the box, it really seemed to me like a coffin :X and then bala thinks i'm stupid now. bala is this guy from sports camp and also happen to be ben's friend. lol anyway volleyball training was great! quite lag but great. i had fun, at least :D and i'm tired now.

God works in amazing ways. :D THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD for everything. everything single thing that happened (yes including being late this morn), and every single person God puts into my life. i prayed, He answered. and His love never fails!
<3

5 hours

2007-04-19T13:44:00.000+08:00

i'm in the school library with jamie and jengting and we're bored D: it's 5 hours of waiting till 6 and then i can go for volleyball. i was late for my first medsoc tutorial! ugh the jam this morning was really bad. a bus trip of 3omins took me 1 and a half hours this morning. and that was why i was late :X but well it's okay ms thomas will understand, hopefully. ok, so i guess right now i'll just do abit of revision or whatever la. it's bad to waste time! haha..

IT noob

2007-04-17T15:19:00.000+08:00

i'm in school now and my lessons just ended. but i'm staying till 8 cos i have jap. gracom and webgra are both interesting BUT because i'm such a noob at illustrator and photoshop i dun understand what the lecturers teach half the time. so i'm going to ask some pros. i find school pretty amusing. the lecturers end class super early and we have more free time. and there's wireless NPnet all around school BUT i can never sign into msn because.. i dunno why.

oh well i have an assignment to do! medisoc. i love ms thomas. she's very interesting and i really enjoyed her lecture. i love using mac tofu to take notes too :D i can even record. yeah all these interesting during lectures/tutorials.

i love God and i'm going to trust Him to do His works.

in LT 79

2007-04-16T11:14:00.000+08:00

yo i'm bored! i'm in lecture and i'm bored! today is the first day of school and i'm so excited. i'm waiting for 12 so i can go for lunch with the fuellers. yesterday we went to sentosa for outing and i praise the lord! cos according to my mac tofu it was s'posed to rain but yest was soooo sunny we all got super burnt. my shoulders hurt like mad. and i cannot sign into msn in LTs D: hais. hahahha me and volleyball ben have secret code LOL. hmm what else.. oh ya cos we have like many many bens around, the sarawak prince is called goddess psycho ben. he gave himself that name. lol. i'm bored but i have to listen to my funny dude lecturer. byebye!