graphcomm.

byebye graphcomm. i will miss it though. i actually think illustrator and photoshop are really kinda easy now. :D and fun as well. today's presentation was..
....... haha, i don't know. nervewrecking? perhaps. with time running out and all, but THANK GOD, THANK GOD, jenny low was not there, and clement tay was lenient on time. :D and i love mr tay! he's really the nicest teacher i've ever had.














this is MARCOM advertising :D














this is JACEE &co. hahaha














T103 :) we actually had class photos! all thanks to me and my digicam whoots!




























And this is the comeback of the camwhores. Aini looks like a man here..














Eugene gave me a serious face that says: i am actually faking this face














erm.... when tim goes mad...














Guess what, we were supposed to prepare for a proper presentation for webgra, but noone knew. and liswanto seriously just hates our class D: i have no idea why he seems to like my group though. he nodded his head (which is a bias act cos he shook his head at all the other grps), and even when we haven't even shown him anything yet, he said ours look promising. don't know what to say..

And everyone's really tired. so many tired faces. People, let's hang in there, we are in it together... all the stress and pressure, we all feel the same. unhappiness arose and all... and bad things keep happening, like audrey losing her prada phone. hais, but well, it will be over SOON! i love you all, tired faces.

to cheer everyone up:















here is henghan KPOing.

fly away

like kites with broken strings. they fly away.
i should have known, i should have kept away like i intended to.

but now

what can i do
other than to stand and watch my kite fly away again.

PRAISE THE LORD

hahahahhahaha although i am half brain dead and i cannot think at all now, and i feel totally disorientated, i don't care, i want to blog! this 100th post on my blog is a tribute to FLASH 8. i finished up the flash movieeeeeee!!!!! hahahha i love this moment like crazy! thanks to ching, who's been doing flash with me for webgra. we kinda switch between the movie and the interactive one, lol, but the thing is, WE DID IT.

oh God i love you.

ok, i don't want my brain to get infected with virus, like chloe's exclassmate she told me about.. damn scary. so i'm gonna rest now! and i hope when i wake up at 6am i will find irma'a mockup designs in my mailbox so that i can finish up the gracom designs for marketing! IRMA please, pretty please.

okay, and we're left with 5 scenes for filming, and we're done with 5, so we're half way there. i hope we can finish up! :D i love our actors and actress. really grateful for them, esp dear benjamin goh heng ye!

WAH OMG, i just thought my mac crashed. it went black, then i realised i accidentally pressed the ctrl for the brightness. LOL. okayyy this shows i need to rest. almost died of heart attack...

You are my strength

Oh Lord,

i am so very tired. i feel so much frustration in me, i cannot help it. schoolwork is getting to me this time. last term wasn't even this bad.. now i know, it gets worse each time. i pulled myself to church after filming. i couldn't stop crying, because i was so tired. really quite sickening - this fatigue. the camera is the heaviest thing i have ever brought home.. i took a cab home after worship, i couldn't carry that damn thing. and now i wonder how am i going to school tomorrow... hais, God help me please. i guess there's no choice, i have to cab again. i just hope that i'l have the energy to get thru this weekend, monday, and tuesday. i hate marcom. i really hate it. i hate flash too. D: God help me rejoice even in this situation. amen.

i'm losing my grip.
but Your love carries me.

chill to the bone

happy birthday joseph!

i went to school today, and did nothing productive, and came home after 3 hours of breathing ngeeann fresh air. oh, not really unproductive i guess... i created a brand new neopets account and now i play neopets again! amirul and janice are my friends. bringing back the neopets craze, how exciting :/ i need to figure out how to do interactive flash thing, time to contribute sthg for webgra project. not that i din do anything, i'm just better at logo designing than at flash. i hate flash i hate flash! D: i am so sad. i am not doing anything about my sch work yet, cos everything seems to get stuck. i cannot do the leaflet cos i need the theme. gosh... i am going jogging tomorrow, time to burn some calories! oh did i mention? i completed electric man 2 normal mode. LOL. today is totally wasted. nvm, for now, some more neopets...

it's crashing down!

yes OMG. we all realised we're in deep shitttttttt! everything's due next week D: i think. D: D: D: i am going to transform into zombie mode right now. oh man, no time to waste at all, to think i still thought i can wake up at 12 tmr cos there's no gracom consultation. haven't done the leaflet. have to meet for webgra. weekends are for filming. thurs marketing meeting. AH! God is mighty to save...

i will survive.

anyway went to sentosa yesterday to recce for 9th august event. everyone was tired out, but we're doing it for a big cause! :D everyone, come for filming extravaganza! haha.

Who am i - casting crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

me and the stomach.

:D i scored 10 out of 10 for marketing test today. God blessed! okay, i admit i didn't do it out of my own ability... you get what i mean.... but the last few questions i just guessed the answers. and there are a few questions i did do them on my own. still, it doesn't justify cheating. but OH WELL clement knows all our notes are on our desktops, so... okay fine, i'm a bad girl.

well well it's already thursday i realise. days just fly... i cannot really recall what i've been doing for the past 2 days. it always happen to me. i don't remember. a few scenes here and there. but i don't remember anything meaningful. hais. i am writing crap in my own book of life. i woke up with a headache this morning and i almost threw up the ban mian i ate last night - the only proper meal i had yesterday. adding up all the things i've ate for the past 3 days, it's less than a normal meal i used to eat at buffets. what's happening to my stomach? it keeps resisting food.

i hate this. i feel so bulimic. but i am not! i just skip meals too often and now i screwed my stomach up. ok... i shall go back to doing my work and hopefully i'll remember to eat lunch.

seventeen

yes everybody. i turned 17! on 160707.

this year's birthday is really amazing. i love all of you people. 3-days celebration.. is more than enough. and i feel so loved and blessed. all of you from COOS are God's gifts, and you people really made a huge difference in my life.

cell
thank you howai yongjin jengting esther grace shanyu liane cheryl and of course au ze ming. not just for celebrating with me my birthday. but also for all the love you people has showered on me all these times. and to howai: there's nothing such as a cheapskate present okay! claypot or no claypot, i will still feel as touched. yongjin, the jellybeans are like the best thing to get sugar high on. jengting you didn't make me puke. esther i will keep the piece of paper forever cos it's blessings added up. grace i know you went ard looking for a present and happy book makes me happy, thank you. shanyu&cheryl for getting the band to say happy birthday hahahha! liane for the card you have yet given me :p finally THANK YOU BENJAMIN AU. you put in the most effort, for everything... i don't know how to thank you enough. :))))))))))))))) I LOVE ALL YOU AXIOMATORS, whoot sounds cooler than transformers.

COOS
wow. what can i say... you people are amazing. and apart from my own cell ppl, there are wonderful people like jamie erastus marcus cerise joyce psychoben ferdi! try to surprise me eh?? hahaha now i know why God let me wake up nauseous on my birthday.. heh heh no plans can be hidden from Daddy. and He doesn't want you all to torture me on my birthday :p thank you to all of you i really appreciate it. especially ferdi erastus and marcus for coming down all the way, and ben au, though i didn't really ate the cake cos i'm not feeling very good, i love it though you said it sucks. jamie and erastus i love the pillow :D i can see so much effort. mrs.fields' from cerise!! :D marcus, kueh-la-pis can be back to being hipfood, let's bring it back to life ahhah! psychoben, you are such a potato, but nvm i know you were trying to surprise me haha. joyce, for the mango pudding though i didn't finish it and puke a little of it out. and i didn't forget you, joanna! lovely entry on your blog :D thank you for the movie too, jamie erastus ben au howai yongjin. i am very happy. alot of random people from church came up to say happy bithday :)thank you to all for the blessings.

My parents
i have to thank my parents this year. really really thank them. my mum bought me my favourite mango icecream cake from swensens'. and i know all this while she loves me as much, though we seldom talk nowadays. and my dad actually bothered to come home to celebrate together. though the situation seemed awkward and foreign to me - the 3 of us sitting together, happy faces - i felt very happy. how long since the last time... i cannot recall. and so before my 17th birthday, i learnt to wear forgiveness like a crown. God is so amazing.

Friends
thank you everybody who has called me or sms me or say face-to-face to me HAPPY BIRTHDAY. thank you dear jasline! for the fun time at holland v :D

God Daddy
huge thank you for naming me Lord. i know why i had such an awesome birthday this year. cos i have you!! thank you God, for the wonder of my being. i love you.

I AM SEVENTEEN.
love all of you people.

how far is heaven

pathetic. my joy doesn't even last for 2 days. and i've been thinking about something on my way home tonight.

when something happens, like a car accident.
and the scenerio is like this:
A lady and her friend decided to jaywalk. the lady gets knocked down by a motorist, and the friend with her was perfectly okay. the thing is that it happened too fast for the friend to warn her. and lady herself was distracted, otherwise she would've seen the motorbike. the motorist didn't mean for it to happen and he did try to brake. but everything happened real fast. and the lady died.

whose fault is it? could it be the lady's fault? could it be the friend's fault? or is it solely the motorist's fault? or rather, whose responsibility is it? probably the lady's own responsibility. why? because it's her life she decided to risk, and she wasn't paying attention. but when we talk about fault, which everyone loves to point a finger at others for, it's quite unclear. couldn't be the lady's fault - she's the victim. but she jaywalked. could be the friend's fault - hello? just scream for your friend is that so difficult? but friend was probably slow in reaction. could be the motorist's fault - he was the killer, accident or not. but he was probably innocent as well... he was just riding on the road, he didn't break any rules. could be the LTA's fault - couldn't they just make more zebra crossings?

okay, the point is, when we talk about fault in any issue, it seems totally strange. cos finger-pointing happens and everyone is reasonable. which means only one thing... everyone's at fault. yet, nobody runs away from responsibilities. so who is responsible? probably the lead in the story. cos everything is because of her/him.

but sometimes the person with the responsibility don't know what to do, you see... in the context of the accident, the lady's already dead. what else can she do?

i'm still with you

happy birthday au ze ming!

sometimes things happen out of the blue. and we ask Daddy in heaven what happened. no answer. this is when we ought to trust He'll deliver His promise and give us the best. and stop questioning Him. i tried my best, i am not going to try too hard, not anymore. i am very happy, even amidst such weird situation. i am not afraid like i was. because i know His will... i know i won't lack anything. it's man's choice to take it or leave it. so i choose God. i choose God over everything else. i won't turn away from the truth.

every little thing's gonna be alright. :)

captivating

here is something from Captivating;

Perfect in beauty. That is the key. Lucifer was gorgeous. He was breathtaking. And it was his ruin. Pride entered Lucifer's heart. The angel came to believe he was being cheated somehow. He craved the worship that was being given to God for himself. He didn't merely want to play a noble role in the Story; he wanted the Story to be about him. He wanted to be the star. He wanted the attention, the adoration for himself.

Satan fell because of his beauty. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty. He destroys it in the natural world wherever he can. Strip mines, oil spills, fires, Chernobyl. He wrecks destruction on the glory of God in the earth like a psychopath committed to destroying great works of art.

But most especially, he hates Eve.

The Evil One had a hand in all that has happened to you. If he didn't arrange for the assault directly - and certainly human sin has a large enough role to play - then he made sure he drove the message of the wounds home into your heart. He is the one who has dogged your heels with shame and self-doubt and accusation. He is the one who offers the false comforters to you in order to deepen your bondage. He is the one who has done these things in order to prevent your restoration. For that is what he fears. He fears who you are; what you are; what you might become. He fears your beauty and your life-giving heart.

You really won't understand your life as a woman until you understand this:

You are passionately loved by the God of the universe.
You are passionately hated by his Enemy.

And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy. One who sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul. Let us turn now to him.

i have left this book untouched for quite a while. oops, sorry jamie. somehow God asked me to pick it up this morning and bring it to school and read it while waiting for lecture to start. well.. i am still waiting for lecture to start. haha. and i feel so revived now! i think i know what to do :)

the ransomed heart

locvid group is having some problems with the final project script D: God, we really have to complete the script soon so we can start shooting, there's really not much time. We still have to juggle with marcom+gracom project and webgra... man, i can see the hot soup from here, and i don't wanna land in there. seriously.

in a couple of hours' time i'll be in church! and i can't wait.

muttons.

Interviewed vernon a and justin ang in the morning. me and audrey went to mediacorp radio building, and we saw venessa lopez, glenn ong, and of cos the muttons. :D coolio, i wanna be a DJ, the studios are so cool! whoots. the interview went well. vernon and justin are really nice and humorous. me and audrey had so many bimbo moments trying to start up the recording cam. the cam is scary, makes weird noise and weird things pop out, i thought it's a transformer LOL. and we ended the interview within half an hour :) pro.

i didn't attend lessons again today. went to town to study.. and some weird thing happened. i don't know exactly what, don't know exactly why, but i just wanna pull away from all this, yet at the same time i cannot seem to do it. is this real? or is this just another prank?

God help me. i am helpless.

i felt your heartbeat

thump.
thump.
thump thump.
thump.

i must be mad.

love me

i have faith; this will soon be over and we can be friends again. i really really hope that day will come. i don't know how, i don't know when, but i want to be able to look at you again.

so tired.