MacBook Pro

oh yeah! this is the first time i'm using my macbook pro. i lovvvvvee it. it's a freaking fun thing, and i knew that fact when we all played with kenny's macbook pro camera. it's sooooo funny! it's hard to get use to using it cos it doesn't run on windows. yeah macs work differently, but it's special in that sense :D my mac is so cool so cool so cool so cool la right! it's really exciting even typing on the keyboard. and there's this really cool key --- the apple key! yeahhh. i love it. i shall name it... mac tofu! mac is the family name. tofu is the name. :D

cell was great yesterday. although only 7 of us turned up, it was still all good. we have assignments from victor! oh man... haha but it's really for our benefit and yes, we'll do our best for our Father in heaven. and then after that on our way to the mrt we met victor's cell... haha some of those dudes from fuel are in the same cell. after that i ended up going home in vic's WISH (the one we hit with the volleyball in camp :X) with jamie, erastus, ferdi, and this other guy. of cos vic had to send his gf home first ahahah.. and big discovery: jamie and erastus were both from my pri school!!!! oh my goodness. hahaha SO UNBELIEVABLE. and and erastus stays only a few blocks away from jamie and me! wowza. that was precisely why we went to the same pi sch hehe.. and then there's our big market. -.-

i'm going for gift in a while more and then to church. i miss gift! i missed the last 2 sessions.. and i can't wait for service tonight. i love my God. i'll be off to another camp tmr morning! when is the last time i feel at home?

fuel camp

campfuelrocksmysocks!

hahaha came back from church camp this afternoon. it was extremely fun!! i've never had so much laughter in my life within four days before. it's sooooooo fun. i love it :D everyone's so great! so many ppl going to ngeeann! haha it's such an unbelievably fun camp. it's in Him that we find joy, i believe. all the worshipping set our hearts on flame for Him and i cannot stop singing the songs. i've learnt a lot these four days about God. as a new christian, i know that there's still alot i don't know. i've learnt so much from everyone who shared, esp the girls and pastor jen. i love you alllllll! :D :D God definitely changed my heart. in Him i find peace and strength, and i trust that He'll give me a good start in poly.. and i'll go all out for Him. it's hard sometimes, but He has the big plan and we're involved. if the whole prison ministry in argentina can be saved, then the schools in singapore can too. i realised too, that prayers are VERY powerful, if you pray with a heart of prayer, not just empty words. i believe 100% now that our God is a prayer-answering God. Joanna fell sick half way thru' the camp, and we prayed for her quite a few times. and praise the Lord, He healed her within 12 hours. amen!

seriously, i don't think anyone can understand how great the whole Christ experience can be, until one takes the leap of faith. and how real and tangible is our God. how direct He can be when He speaks to us through the bible. how amazing He is when He works miracles. how He touch us with the greatest love of all, the agape love. how loving He is as a father.

for nothing can be better or greater than His love.
and i thank You for everything, my God.

i'm still a happy person!

i'm still a happy person! yeah God will take away these pains. so there's no reason i should feel sad right. and i love life too much to wallow in woes. so thank God for everything! i prayed the longest prayer i've ever prayed in my life tonight. and after all, it's not too hard to face that old problem again. i'll just wait for my prayer to be answered even as i continue praying.

i'm so looking forward to fuel camp tmr! i'm sure it'll be fun :D :D

axiomation

Like a Rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me

i am having alot of thoughts now. i love my cell. everybody's so sweet. and as i start to fit in, i start to know them... God is prompting me to go ahead. Go ahead with what i'm not sure. He just told me to go ahead. probably go ahead to know them better, go ahead to share and care. i don't know.. i guess i've been too self-centered. although for the past 6 months i've been a christian and i've been so happy because of God, it just dawned on me suddenly this morning as i read the blogs of others, that i've selfishly kept all the love He has given to me by myself. i know it's a funny thing to say. i mean since He has abundant love, so it's okay right? no, not at all. He gave me the ability to love, yet, what have i done in His glory? share the gospel sometimes, maybe. pray for my friends and family, maybe. but how much have i loved? too little, i realised. i wanna serve Him with a pure heart. pure heart pure heart pure heart. but as i read entries of others' blogs, i found this knot in my heart that i've ignored for so long and thus forgotten it's there, thinking all this time that i am serving Him with a pure heart. so the reason i'm feeling down now is not because i'm affected by the emo entries. it's because i suddenly feel the weight of my own burdens once again, and i feel bad because these burdens on my back are much lighter than burdens on some others' backs, and in my happiness, i was too ignorant to notice all these. i am sad to say i'm not free. i am ashamed to say i have difficulty living by His word. i am speechless to realise that i haven't learnt to love, though He has already taught me how to. all because of this knot in my heart. probably not a dead knot but i just left it there untouched for quite a while.. i don't know what i'm afraid of. i tried, but it didn't work. Lord, i tried so hard to forgive, yet... perhaps that's why. it's not that i don't trust You, Lord. i know that if i continue to pray, You'll straighten things out for me, but i think after all the things that happened, i am not sure if i find it neccessary to solve this problem anymore. well, i guess it's a calling from You for me to come back down to earth, to face it bravely finally and to trust in You. for You are the only way.

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."
and i think what we all need right now is the truth.

i love my 2F

i'm very excited about poly life. yes i know i've mentioned, but I'M SO EXCITED! i lovvvvvveeee everyone who's going to poly with me :D :D cool! received more letters today. now i have like THREE upcoming camps! fuel camp, sports camp, FMS camp. HAHAHA i laugh out loud. i'm going mad. i'm overwhelmed. i'm excited! went back to ac today with grace. we were like two peculiar creatures going to sch in shirts and fbts when others are streaming out in uniforms. met my dearest friends! i love you all. and then i went to have lunch with yiting at venezia. we were s'posed to eat at tea party! but when we went there they were closed D: oh well. talked about alot of things. sometimes things happen, but then it's all in His plan. people just have to understand. then, me and peilin have telepathy! :D . "i'm taking foreign lang", "ME TOOOOOOOO". "so what lang?", "jap", "ME TOOOOOOOOO". hahaha. going to get my notebook this sat :D sooooooooooooo happy okay!

countdown

29days to school.

yeah i'm damnnn excited! hahhaha i'm going to crash ac this week with my mass-comm-ex-acsian friend. oh man how we love ac still!

went to take instant photos today for this ngeeann form and also for my passport. apparently the lady at the custom doesn't agree that my sec1 photo is my photo. -.- anal. anyway i'm so excited i'm going to complete my step1 of enrolment hohoho. cheers to everyone else heading for poly :D

i forgot to mention how excited pastor jen was when i told her the good news! i'm so happy to see her reaction-- makes me feel extra happy that i'm going to study mass comm and also feel better about abandoning jc life.

poly life awaits

i'm soooooo excited! i have just gotten my poly package and there's a lot of things to do. :D :D :D :D yay i'm looking forward to school finally. still have 1 month of holidays left haha.. really happy to find out so many people going to poly. i'm happy happy happy! our God is an awesome God.

who's the last girl you kissed?

paris je t'aime is a movie with a cool name. some of the stories are good, i really love the natalie one but overall, it's kind of borrrrrrrring. french sounds quite crude to me. like some dialect.

went to st james with maria melvin terry gino. it's fun fun fun fun fun fun. did so much rubbish on the dancefloor but that's cos i was on the high and was quite out of mind with all the disco lights.

when you focus too much on one single thing, you lose the others eventually, without noticing. and soon you'll find yourself with just one single thing. it's your favourite so you'll be happy. how about those who are forgotten? it's not fair.

my first day at pcf

i'm quite happy now :)
i got my motorola v3 red :D
results are out --
i'm going to ngee ann poly to study mass comm.
i went to pcf kindergarten to helpout.
it's quite tiring but very fun. the kids are damn cute.
i have a permanent cell now in church :D
i love Jesus.

shalom jesus's son

he asked me do i believe in jesus when he saw my cross. i said i love jesus. and he said "me too". that was about the sweetest thing i've ever heard from any 6-years-old boy. i totally adore shalom my dear boy :D we learnt how big is God in church today. if God is normal size, we're just about less than half of an ant size. literally He is THAT BIG.. i love our new cell. okay not really our cell, but well i love the people alot. friendly and simply just very nice :)

i'm very happy i conduct the p1 class gift session all by myself today. because it was really good. i had the best big-book session in the 2 years. even shalom & samuel paid full attention. :D i drew a fairy for cindy. all the children are so happy today :D :D :D debrief was bad though. but it's okay.. i wouldn't care about people who doesn't care.

what hurts the most by rascal flatts :D

same old story

the weather today is like wow, COLD. i really wouldn't mind hibernating for a day but i get hungry every 2 hours. eric once said that when you're cold, you tend to keep eating. how true. so today i did nothing but watch vcds again. days like this have been happening over and over, which is making my brain still and my body stiff. i have only been awake for half a day now, and my sleeping hours are from 2-11 in the morn, which i just realised while talking to people online, whom most are already in their dreams now. it's 11:48 pm. i can watch another 2 more episodes of love story in harvard. yay.